Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Race Review: Ridin’ Bitch Edition

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Photo from indycar.com

Alexander Rossi forced the rest of the field to ride bitch Sunday at Long Beach, winning his second consecutive grand prix by over ten seconds from pole. It was one of those sleep inducing street course races that we’re constantly railing against, one that would’ve been totally forgettable but for a bit of late race controversy over the low step on the podium between Scott “Forrest” Dixon and Ragin’ Graham Rahal. But in the end, even that was less than dramatic.

Rossi featured mightily on the pre-race show but hell, if you’d have read our predictions you could have saved yourself some time and already known all that. Sorry to Alex – and almost everyone else – but the GP is NOT a close second to the Indy 500. It’s only about a third as old, much less prestigious and it’s a frickin’ street course, to boot. A couple of positives from the pre-race pageantry were F-18s doing a flyover and the hottie Mickey Guyton singing the national anthem. Candidly, we were surprised the kooky Californios let her sing it at all. Additionally, there was a second consecutive audio connection with the two seater passenger – some gal from The Bachelor who, not surprisingly, could hardly contain her enthusiasm.

At Long Beach there are a whopping two passing zones, according to Townsend Bell and – whoopie! – it showed. The start saw Dixon immediately dart behind Rossi, with the only change being Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay) bumping and then getting around Frenchman Simon Pagenaud for fifth. Continue reading

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Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Predictions and Prognostications: Acura-cy Edition

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In an era where veracity is increasingly viewed by many as valueless, we at IRR strenuously strive for it above all else. Problem is, predictions don’t always work out so perfectly.

It’s no secret that our previous prognostications for Barber weren’t exactly spot on. More correctly, they reeked. But when we make mistakes we admit them, acknowledge the error and move on. Wouldn’t it be a much better world if everyone – including race control – did the same? That leads us to our special prediction for the Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach, which entails often controversial caution flags.

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The recent history of the Grand Prix shows yellows playing a determining factor in both the racing and the outcome. Last year’s race was a prime example. When there are several cautions the racing’s superior. But when there aren’t any, the racing tends to suck. After that sleeping pill of a race at Barber, the series is due for both some concentrated canary flagging and an engaging contest, so expect some carnage and concomitant cautions come Sunday.

Pole prediction’s also a precisely crafted one. Continue reading

Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Preview: Weather Or Not

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Image from youtube.com

This weekend the sexy fast cars vector toward a land known for its knock-out weather – and women – if nothing else.

Photo from twitter.com

Following a tsunami-like stunning result at the conclusion of an uneventfully dry race down south, IndyCar heads out west for its annual visit to the concrete canyon course just upwind of la-la land. It’s one date on the racing calendar that consistently yields greater atmosphere than actual agreeable racing; though what do you expect from a race on a temporary street circuit? Much less one in a state where mud slides, wildfires, earthquakes and wicked winds named for a bandito are the norm.

Speaking of which, did anybody else catch Ryan Hunter-Reay’s appearance on TWC with Steph Abrams last week? It was one occasion – at least for us – when racing definitely took a back seat to the scenery. Talk about high temps! [Although, believe it or not, our girlfriend’s waaaay hotter.]

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Image from twitter.com

The last four winners at the Beach – representing four different teams – are Alexander Rossi, James Hinchcliffe, Frenchman Simon Pagenaud and Scott Dixon. They were the first ever wins at the smoggy, supposed track for each driver and part of multi-win seasons for all of them except Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Race Review: Inverted Edition

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Pole sitter(!) Takuma Sato’s lead was seldom in doubt – except when he ran completely off course and nearly flipped in characteristic fashion with five to go – as the 500 winner cruised to only his fourth career IndyCar victory in a truly inverted race in Alabama. The previous run-on sentence is not a joke. He credited his Rahal Lanigan Letterman team for a “fantastic effort,” despite an incredibly slow first pit stop due to a lethargic left rear tire changer. Equally incredibly, Scott Dixon claimed his sixth 2nd place finish at Barber – out of ten races – as Honda swept its own podium with Frenchman Sebastien Bourdais coming home in third.

An inadvertently inverted starting grid with the Penskes oddly bringing up the rear led to a decidedly upside down result. One of the few highlights of the weekend occured when a street sweeper rolled over onto its side while at speed in between practices, nearly inverting itself. The accident was a good thing, as NBCSN’s abbreviated pre-race show had little to offer, although they did manage a real rarity in connecting on air with the two seater passenger. Oh, and Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Predictions and Prognostications: Locks Edition

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For IRR’s ever popular predictions regarding the annual trek to a track called Barber, locks seemed like a no-brainer theme.

Our special prediction for the weekend is that ‘Bama’s good ol’ boys will soon wish they’d have locked up their wives and daughters once IndyCar comes to town. Why? Because the racing’ll be surprisingly entertaining – way more so than NASCRAP – especially considering the fast cars are competing on a danged motorcycle track. It’s truly too bad the series is locked out of nearly every oval track in the country thanks to N@$CAR, else IndyCar’s preeminence in the racing world would be a sure thing – just like the good ol’ days.

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Photo from artnet.com

Pick for pole’s a slam dunk in that he’s paced the field in both races already this season and twice before at Barber, while his team’s won nearly every single pole in IndyCar’s history at the track. Who’s got it so locked down, you ask? Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Preview: Conspiracy Theory Edition

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WARNING: Those voices in your head telling you not to read this because we’re part of a cabal that’s out to get you . . . happen to be right.

With never ending collusion delusion, conspiracy theories running amok and – even though Mikhail Aleshin‘s sadly no longer in the series – a Russian seemingly under every bed, IRR’s got a few new crackpot conspiracies for your consideration. Only this time, they’re of the IndyCar variety. It starts with those chemtrails IndyCars emit, which everyone else obliviously refers to as so-called “exhaust fumes.” But we’ll get back to Whinin’ Will Power in a moment.

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Photo from indycar.com

Roger Penske and Josef Newgarden may actually have some competition for a change this year at Barber Motorsports Park, although the grand Penske conspiracy’s a tough one to get folks to buy, unlike his billion dollar fleet of vehicles. Newkid’s won three of the last four down in Alabam’ – his French teammate won the other – and is obviously the odds on favorite to do so again this season. Coincidence? We think not. Hell, amongst IndyCar aficionadoes who are truly *in the know* Team Penske‘s the Bilderbergers, Trilateral Commission and Council on Foreign Relations all wrapped up into one. Don’t tell anyone, but RP’s a Freemason, too. Talk about a new IndyCar order!

Colton Herta, who strangely resembles Joaquin Phoenix in case you hadn’t noticed, is also white hot coming off his first win while setting the mark as youngest ever series victor at COTA. Continue reading

When Will Won’t Win, Will Whines, Or: Why We Root Against Will Power

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Photo from dailytelegraph.com.au

IndyCar’s least likable driver routinely disparages the series, the racing, the rules and the competition. In pissing all over his chosen profession and everyone associated with it, Whinin’ Will Power slaps those responsible for his seven figure salary – namely, paying race fans – squarely in the face. It’s high time somebody called him out for this childish complaining and held him to account. It’s past time people stopped tolerating his extremely rude, self-centered behavior – much less celebrating it.

Will “Wah-Wah” Power rarely fails to bite the hand that feeds him, repeatedly ripping IndyCar and his competitors in the most classless manner possible. Such outrageous outbursts go back years, as we’ve comprehensively chronicled since 2015 and more recently last season at Gateway. No doubt he’s earned our nickname, “Sour Grapes” Power, honestly and on more than a few occasions. Yet the big mouthed sore loser is never, ever responsible for his words. Instead, the overwhelming majority of those covering IndyCar continually give the creep a pass. Well not us.

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Photo from heraldsun.com.au

His most recent tantrum was broadcast live around the globe Sunday during the IndyCar Classic at Circuit of the Americas. Continue reading

Colton Herta: IndyCar’s Joaquin Phoenix

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IRR’s latest in a series on IndyCar drivers’ similarities to certain Hollywood heavyweights has Colton Herta joining the likes of Indy 500 winners Ryan Hunter-Reay and Scott Dixon. Heady company, indeed.

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Photo from wibc.com

It turns out the youngest winner in IndyCar history – all hail Emperor Herta! – has quite a bit in common with another child star with a famous surname. What Colton Herta and Joaquin Phoenix share is much more than mere looks, though – or even familial fame. Talent, success and a difficult to define something extra also characterize these two.

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Image from giphy.com

Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico in 1974, Phoenix currently resides in Hollywood Hills, CA. Herta was born twenty six years later in Valencia, California and still lives there – when not on the road racing. Continue reading

IndyCar Classic Race Review: All Hail Emperor Herta!

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The record books were rewritten Sunday in Texas, as the youngest driver in IndyCar history – 18 year old American legacy pilot Colton “Joaquin” Herta – incredibly won only the third start of his career. It was a popular finish throughout the paddock, as Bryan Herta’s son and Brian Barnhart’s team, Harding Steinbrenner Racing (partnered with Andretti) took their first ever series victory.

Swedish love dished out during pre-race proved badly misplaced, as Felix Rosenqvist was crashed out by James Hinchcliffe in the only full course caution of the day – after earlier spinning on his own. Fellow Scandinavian Marcus Ericsson earned a late penalty in the pits for contacting another car, dropping him to the rear of the field and sealing a fifteenth place finish. The start was clean except for Zach “son of Dracula” Veach, who made contact with Graham Rahal and ran off course, falling to last place as he was forced through and around COTA’s gravel traps.

Scott Dixon made it three wide through turn one, which is allowed under the no limits policy, followed wide right by Rahal who was then contacted by Veach. Herta split Dixon and Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay) to move up a position to third for a taste of things to come. Meanwhile Ganassi’s Rosenqvist dropped back two positions to eighth. Alexander Rossi challenged Will Power for the lead briefly but remained in second with Herta, Hunter-Reay and Dixon making up the top five.

Single file racing rapidly set in, with Power comfortably out front. Continue reading

IndyCar Classic Predictions and Prognostications: On the Road Again

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Photo from cicuitoftheamericas.com

In its infinite wisdom, IndyCar visits yet another rampantly redundant road course this weekend – and it’s most definitely not music to our ears.

Turns out a wide array of musicians sing songs titled “On the Road Again,” including most famously Texas’ own Willie Nelson, Canned Heat, Barrabas and a group called Amphetamine Eaters to name but a few. And that’s not to mention derivative ditties like the Grateful Dead’s “Natural Born Easy (On the Road Again),” either. Our special prediction of the race deals specifically with the quick cars being on the road – again.

Image from countryfancast.com

Directly counter to the conventional view of every other single outlet and commentator in existence, Sunday’s show won’t be gripping viewing, but rather a rerun of the numerous other identical road races – like the very next one in Alabama. Lacking in excitement, speed and overtaking – also known as quality racing – COTA will amount to a high dollar, low interest parade around a three and a half mile f-ing F1 circuit. To us, such an ear splitting waste of horsepower strikes an extremely sour note.

Our pick for pole also may sound like a familiar tune, Continue reading