‘Newgarden In Love, Or: Mad Will Hunting’ – An IRR/Harvey Weinstein Production

weinsteinIRR

When worlds – and hands and genitals – collide, things get messy.

Following a disastrous string of IndyCar themed movies – unless you consider ‘Turbo’ at all watchable – our ill-advised new venture with a disastrously pervish producer can’t possibly be worse than what Hollywood currently puts out, can it?

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Image from kindafunnyforums.com

Without further adieu, here’s the world premier of a scene from the behind the scenes making of ‘Newgarden In Love,’ featuring everyone’s favorite former movie producer. It begins with us opportunistically approaching Mr. Weinstein about another possible IndyCar – Hollywood collaboration. For some strange reason, none of our female staff members were eager to participate.

EXT. ARIZONA SEX ADDICTION REHAB CENTER – NIGHT.

In the shadows Pervy Harvey nervously tugs on his shorty robe, only half-heartedly trying to avoid the paparazzi camped out nearby. We gain easy access to the posh center, knowing the staff (and many of the clientele) all too well. [Now THAT’s IRR Unchained!] We also made sure Harvey’d already showered and were careful not to meet him anywhere near his room. Fortunately never having dealt with him before, we walk up haltingly – as if encountering some great wounded beast.

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Photo from eonline.com

Pervy Harvey

What da fu*% do I know about IndyCar? Tits and ass? You betcha. Terrible movie remakes? Yes. But racing? Nah, never happen, kid. By the way, is this place ever great for gettin’ some action! And their plant pots are HUGE.

IRR

You’d be surprised at all the T n’ A drivers get – even awful ones, like Marco. I’m sure you remember Mrs. Franchitti, don’t you? She’s been mentioned in the press lately. Besides, just leave the racing aspects to us. We’ve got you uh, covered, Harvey. Speaking of which, please pull your robe back down now.
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IndyCar News Week in Review: See the Future Edition

seethefutureIRR

An IndyCar Race and a Calf Ropin’: The series could be off to western Canada in 2017 if plans outside the U.S. happen to come together for once. The Great White North’s third largest city and home of the Calgary Stampede – it’s a rodeo, not a football team (they’re the Stampeders, eh?) – hopes to host a race the fall after next according to motorsport.com. The Reverend Mayor Hinchcliffe already made a hoe-down style visit to that end, enthusiastically endorsing the decision to try to hold a second race in his home country as “logical.” That’s some truly Spock-ian level analysis from the comical Canuck. Judging by the picture – and seriously, who’s been to Calgary?! – it looks like a perfectly serviceable oval’s already there in place. Wanna prediction? It’ll be another Mark “Two” Miles street race.

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Image from calgary.cvtnews.ca

SPM’s Assuming Potential New Pilot: Two time Indy Lights runner up Jack Harvey Continue reading

IndyCar Off Season Update No. 1

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Image from Indy Race Reviewer

Every part of the paddock observed the Thanksgiving holiday, from chilly Circle City to diesel-y Charlotte, North Carolina to home of the ol’ ornery legend Waller, Texas. During the long, shopping and violence filled weekend (perhaps Black Friday should be renamed N@$C@R Friday?) and since there have been Continue reading

Have An Indy Grinchy Christmas

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Images from dailytelegraph.com.au and fanpop.com

Have an Indy, Grinch-y Christmas,

It’s the worst time of the year –

There’s no race and there’s no thrill,

But have a six of beer

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Photo from ebay.com

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