‘Newgarden In Love, Or: Mad Will Hunting’ – An IRR/Harvey Weinstein Production

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When worlds – and hands and genitals – collide, things get messy.

Following a disastrous string of IndyCar themed movies – unless you consider ‘Turbo’ at all watchable – our ill-advised new venture with a disastrously pervish producer can’t possibly be worse than what Hollywood currently puts out, can it?

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Image from kindafunnyforums.com

Without further adieu, here’s the world premier of a scene from the behind the scenes making of ‘Newgarden In Love,’ featuring everyone’s favorite former movie producer. It begins with us opportunistically approaching Mr. Weinstein about another possible IndyCar – Hollywood collaboration. For some strange reason, none of our female staff members were eager to participate.

EXT. ARIZONA SEX ADDICTION REHAB CENTER – NIGHT.

In the shadows Pervy Harvey nervously tugs on his shorty robe, only half-heartedly trying to avoid the paparazzi camped out nearby. We gain easy access to the posh center, knowing the staff (and many of the clientele) all too well. [Now THAT’s IRR Unchained!] We also made sure Harvey’d already showered and were careful not to meet him anywhere near his room. Fortunately never having dealt with him before, we walk up haltingly – as if encountering some great wounded beast.

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Photo from eonline.com

Pervy Harvey

What da fu*% do I know about IndyCar? Tits and ass? You betcha. Terrible movie remakes? Yes. But racing? Nah, never happen, kid. By the way, is this place ever great for gettin’ some action! And their plant pots are HUGE.

IRR

You’d be surprised at all the T n’ A drivers get – even awful ones, like Marco. I’m sure you remember Mrs. Franchitti, don’t you? She’s been mentioned in the press lately. Besides, just leave the racing aspects to us. We’ve got you uh, covered, Harvey. Speaking of which, please pull your robe back down now.
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Ryan Hunter-Reay: IndyCar’s Matthew Modine

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Photos from zimbio.com

In our ongoing efforts toward the Hollywood-ization of IndyCar – the tinselly celebrity, emotionally uplifting and magical parts of Hollywood, not its utterly out of ideas, irrelevancy and self indulgent aspects – we bring you the latest comparison of an IndyCar champion to his movie star doppelganger. While the similarities are striking in these two enigmatic stars’ countenances, there are a number of other parallels between Ryan Hunter-Reay and Matthew Modine, apart from the fact that many fans around the world “love them long time.”

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Photos from basementrejects.com and zimbio.com

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Ten Reasons to be Fond of the SoCal Finale

1. Big, bouncy, beautiful ovular racing.

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                                   Photo from ap.org

2. Proximity to Los Angeleez, according to The Stranger a place “high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide.”

3. Hot Hollywood offspring like Ireland Baldwin.

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               Photos from gotceleb.com and dailymail.co.uk

4. It’s too far to drive, so there’s no guilt over not attending the race.

5. Celebu-tards like Gwyneth Paltrow.

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                                      Photos from dailymail.co.uk and fitsugar.com

6. Many more beaches than Louisiana.

7. Earthquakes!

8. Better weather and less sand than Dubai.

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                Photo from usatoday.com

9. It’s where the Dude abides as well as resides.

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                            Photo from dailycaller.com

10. It’s slightly less third world-y than Brazil.