IndyCar Classic Race Review: All Hail Emperor Herta!

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The record books were rewritten Sunday in Texas, as the youngest driver in IndyCar history – 18 year old American legacy pilot Colton “Joaquin” Herta – incredibly won only the third start of his career. It was a popular finish throughout the paddock, as Bryan Herta’s son and Brian Barnhart’s team, Harding Steinbrenner Racing (partnered with Andretti) took their first ever series victory.

Swedish love dished out during pre-race proved badly misplaced, as Felix Rosenqvist was crashed out by James Hinchcliffe in the only full course caution of the day – after earlier spinning on his own. Fellow Scandinavian Marcus Ericsson earned a late penalty in the pits for contacting another car, dropping him to the rear of the field and sealing a fifteenth place finish. The start was clean except for Zach “son of Dracula” Veach, who made contact with Graham Rahal and ran off course, falling to last place as he was forced through and around COTA’s gravel traps.

Scott Dixon made it three wide through turn one, which is allowed under the no limits policy, followed wide right by Rahal who was then contacted by Veach. Herta split Dixon and Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay) to move up a position to third for a taste of things to come. Meanwhile Ganassi’s Rosenqvist dropped back two positions to eighth. Alexander Rossi challenged Will Power for the lead briefly but remained in second with Herta, Hunter-Reay and Dixon making up the top five.

Single file racing rapidly set in, with Power comfortably out front. Continue reading

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IndyCar Classic Predictions and Prognostications: On the Road Again

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Photo from cicuitoftheamericas.com

In its infinite wisdom, IndyCar visits yet another rampantly redundant road course this weekend – and it’s most definitely not music to our ears.

Turns out a wide array of musicians sing songs titled “On the Road Again,” including most famously Texas’ own Willie Nelson, Canned Heat, Barrabas and a group called Amphetamine Eaters to name but a few. And that’s not to mention derivative ditties like the Grateful Dead’s “Natural Born Easy (On the Road Again),” either. Our special prediction of the race deals specifically with the quick cars being on the road – again.

Image from countryfancast.com

Directly counter to the conventional view of every other single outlet and commentator in existence, Sunday’s show won’t be gripping viewing, but rather a rerun of the numerous other identical road races – like the very next one in Alabama. Lacking in excitement, speed and overtaking – also known as quality racing – COTA will amount to a high dollar, low interest parade around a three and a half mile f-ing F1 circuit. To us, such an ear splitting waste of horsepower strikes an extremely sour note.

Our pick for pole also may sound like a familiar tune, Continue reading

St. Pete Race Review: New Season? Newgarden

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Photo from indycar.com

In a predictably prominent Penske affair, Josef Newgarden cruised to his eleventh career win at St. Pete over Scott Dixon. “It just worked out perfectly,” the positive pilot postulated post race.

During the pre race show, Paul Tracy exclaimed “there are Swedes everywhere!” Sounds like an ideal beach party to us. Also included was a nice update and interview with Robert Wickens, who vowed to come back from his devastating, paralizing injury last season at Pocono.

A controversial qualifying session, which saw Dixon initially miss the top twelve before not only making the fast six but starting fourth, had Will “Sour Grapes” Power on pole, again predictably. In fact, an all Penske front row rounded out by Newgarden was trailed by an all Ganassi second row – with the Swedish rookie Rosenqvist actually outpacing defending champ Dixie – and an all Andretti third row of 500 winners Ryan Hunter-Reay and Alexander Rossi. In other qualifying news, only Marco can manage to run out of fuel without turning a single lap.

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The start saw a slight delay thanks to the cumbersome two seater and – as usual – failed radio communication with same. Why they insist upon trying to talk to the backseat rider time after time in vain is simply beyond us. Continue reading

St. Pete Predictions and Prognostications: Live PD Edition

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A recent high profile IndyCar related arrest put IRR in an increasingly incarcerating mood for Sunday’s season opener. As Davey Hamilton, Jr. might say, “stop resisting!”

The Firestone Grand Prix takes place just south of Pasco County, Florida, equally famous for both its recurring spots on Live PD and its 3rd grade educated, meth addled criminal class. In honor of this and the adorable K-9 officer Shep – along with his equally adorable handler (at least according to this author’s girlfriend) – we’ll get to our picks quicker than Dan Abrams can come up with a poorly worded police related pun.

Our special prediction for 2019’s inaugural event is that it’ll be about as engaging as a Nye County welfare check thirty minutes out. Afterward you’ll wish the entire series hierarchy were thrown behind bars or, better yet, put under the jail for so persistently insisting upon such shoddy street circuits. Particularly when there’s a perfectly serviceable yet thoroughly unused oval track down in Homestead. Swedish imports NOT in a vodka bottle or bikini? Check. Starting the year off with yet another buzz killing street course?? Check. Allowing Marco, Max “Paris” Chilton and TK all to take the green??? Check. It’s profoundly criminal, and more than enough to make us wanna fire up Florida’s famed ol’ sparky.

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Prognostication for pole sitter invokes our personal favorite Live PD peace officer, Richland County’s Lieutenant “Downtown” Danny Brown. Why, you ask? Because in IndyCar nowadays, pole’s as easy to sniff out as a blazin’ blunt from the car full of extremely confident fellows directly upwind from you. Continue reading

Nineteen Predictions for the 2019 IndyCar Season

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Anticipate another entertaining season opener on St. Pete’s street course oddly enough, even without flying aero kit pieces or Juan “street cleaner” Montoya in the field. Less surprisingly, thrilling contests again will ensue at Texas Motor Speedway and Gateway Motorsports Park, both oval races held under the lights. Now if only the egg heads at 16th & Georgetown would heed IRR’s advice and return Iowa’s race to a nocturnal knife fight and bring back excellent tracks like Kentucky, Chicagoland, Michigan and Fontana we’d have more awesome oval affairs to look forward to.

The series’ pair of new Swedish drivers – Schmidt’s Marcus Ericsson and Ganassi’s Felix Rosenqvist – will spend the 2019 campaign stuck in neutral. Suffice it to say their transition won’t be pretty.

A second season running the new cars will make the disparity between the series’ haves and have-nots even greater, unfortunately. Last year saw Penske win yet another 500 and Ganassi take the championship – again. An entire off season of the super teams fine tuning their machines won’t help matters. Continue reading

Sonoma Season Finale Race Review: S&M Edition

Photo from indycar.com

Racing at Sonoma through the years has often been painful to watch, and the season finale was no different. Admittedly, there were a few moments of pleasure along with hours of punishment.

Scott Dixon clinched his fifth championship Sunday in dominant fashion, totally overshadowing Ryan Hunter-Reay who abused the competition from pole in IndyCar’s final race at the dungeon like track. In a curious move by the series’ sole broadcast partner, NBCSN viewers missed an eventful start due to preemption by a NASCAR crash and delay at Vegas. Of course it proved to be one of few interesting segments of the day, and for fans it really hurt.

As Hunter-Reay led the field to the green his teammate Alexander Rossi suffered a brain fade typical of his youth and inexperience. Entering turn 1 the championship contender inexplicably ran into the back of teammate Marco Andretti, damaging his front wing and right front tire and all but eliminating his title hopes. Rossi would battle back and almost make it interesting by the end, but couldn’t surpass Dixon’s maturity and experience.

Cars quickly strung out single file as normalcy returned to Sonoma. Continue reading

Sonoma Season Finale Predictions & Prognostications: A Frenchman, A Kiwi & A Mexican Walk Into A Wine Bar . . .

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With season’s end in sight, so too are the soon to be crowned champ, race winner, first to exit and – thanks to IRR’s amazing powers of prognostication – various other hilarity inducing outcomes.

The special prediction not only for the season finale but also for the last IndyCar race at Sonoma – at least for a while, considering this series’ schizophrenic schedule one never says never – is that the place won’t be missed. At all. Rather, the so-called racing there‘ll be about as sorely missed as a severe wine hangover.

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Photo from sports.usatoday.com

Our pick for pole is Will “not so super” Power, again. It’ll be his fifth of the season and fifty fifth pole of his career. He trails only Mario Andretti’s mark of 67 poles on the all-time list and could well break it in the future – especially if his competition continues their joke like qualifying efforts. Power topping Mario, A.J., or any of the other greats in IndyCar annals strikes us as being in incredibly bad taste.

First out of the finale will be one of Harding Racing’s multiple rookie entries. Our pick is Indy Lights champ Patricio O’Ward in what will be his first career start for the upstart outfit. The 19 year old Mexican impressed in the junior series, winning over half the races and poles he contested and finishing every one. With struggling Harding however, expect that run to come to a halt Sunday – quicker than a south of the border street burrito races through whomever’s dense enough to eat it.

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Photo from fabwags.com

Biggest surprise to IndyCar fans Continue reading

Season Finale Preview: Sayonara, Sonoma!

Sayonara Sonoma!

IRR’s preview of the 2018 finale illustrates how the sake’s about to hit the fan with a Japanese race winner, a Kiwi in the points lead and a long overdue kiss off for one particular track.

Following fourteen interminable years of visiting northern California – primarily because the Foyts and Andrettis own wineries there and most certainly not for the racing – the IndyCar party at Sonoma’s over at long last. Now the hellacious hangover begins, as the geniuses responsible for IndyCar’s schedule failed to replace it with a decent track, like the big, beautiful oval at Fontana, home of exquisite racing in years past.

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Photo from sfhracing.com

No, next season the series swaps one inferior road course finale at Sonoma for another one down the coast at Laguna Seca. The 2019 schedule Continue reading

Portland Race Review: Cluster Edition

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Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing had quite the day at the Portland Grand Prix, with one driver in victory lane and the other ripping the racing, the stewards and the series. Indy 500 winner Takuma Sato scored another victory, while his teammate Ragin’ Graham Rahal was along with several others caught up in another frightening first lap pileup that for once was no fault of his own. However, his scathing criticisms of blatant incompetence in race control had us grinning from ear to ear.

After qualifications but prior to the race, two Andretti Autosport teammates who factored largely in the outcome poignantly diverged in their assessment of the place. And after eleven years away, why not? Ryan Hunter-Reay praised the braking zones as portending engaging racing, while his teammate Alexander Rossi said flatly, “we all know it’s hard to pass here.” In the long run, Rossi was the more correct – though less lucky – on the day.

Photo from indycar.com

Once the green flag flew, Rossi sped around Josef Newgarden for second, with RHR gaining too, until trouble struck. In the back Simon Pagenaud initially encountered problems going off track, followed by fellow Frenchman Sebastien Bourdais. Then the latest frightening first lap crash occurred due to contact between rookie phenom Zach Veach and James Hinchcliffe in turn 3. Hinch spun, causing a trailing Marco Andretti to spin and roll backwards over Hinch’s car, flipping upside down in the process. After Pocono, it was the last thing anyone wanted to see, although Portland’s configuration – specifically the chicane – invites it. Remarkably, and once he was turned right side up, Marco jumped out of the car unscathed, though covered in dirt. He spoke of being “really lucky,” and of his head being “on the ground,” thanks to Rahal hitting him from behind.

Ganassi’s potentially soon to be ex Ed Jones was victimized in the incident and out of the race, his helmet scarred from the crash. Hinch’s car was repaired and he was able to get back out, though many laps down. Another victim of course was the aforementioned Rahal, who made his feelings on the accident crystal clear. “It was a cluster. . . . Oh yeah, Veach – I mean come on now, give him some room. There’s no room there at all … So it’s just wrong, and then the officials take no action, which is typical of our officiating crew. It’s disappointing.”

Driver Marco Andretti was involved in a four-car crash Sunday at the start of the Portland Grand Prix at Portland International Raceway.

Image from oregonlive.com

Included in the carnage was championship leader Scott Dixon, who Continue reading

Portland Predictions and Prognostications: Positively Polluted

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Get your gas masks and eye wash ready for this weekend’s IndyCar incursion into Portland, as a mass of particulate matter may make even murkier an already muddled mix.

Our special prognostication this week involves fanning the flames by pointing out just how pure and unspoiled our predictions have been. Since achieving absolute accuracy in Detroit, we’ve picked the winning team the last two races, if not driver. We correctly called both Barber and Phoenix earlier this season. That’s not including all the picks we’ve gotten partially right either, or nailing last year’s championship – which no one else on the planet did. From now on, we predict you’ll pay closer attention to our remarkably unspoiled prognostications.

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Photo from from dailytelegraph.com.au

Pole sitter for Sunday’s race’ll be Will “He ever grow up?” Power, much to our – and every other sane race fan’s – chagrin. Barring historic flooding or, more likely nowadays, wildfires destroying the entire area, he’ll be P1 for the fourth time this season. Since in reality neither natural disaster is likely to occur, it’ll be Sour Grapes again leading the field to another sub-standard start. When’s the last time the series piss tested that guy, anyway?

First out of IndyCar’s return to hazy, somewhat hazardous Portland will be Continue reading