GPLB Qualifications Instant Reaction: Carpet Pissers Did This

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Photo from indycar.com

As Marty Snider summed it up, “What a bizarre qualifying session!” And as SoCal’s own “The Dude” once appropriately alleged, “carpet pissers did this.”

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Photo from thefix.com

Other than a timing and scoring blackout, Frenchman Bourdais slyly staying out after seeing the checkered, the timing line inexplicably being moved mid session and an additional lap being added at the end, yesterday’s qualifications at the Grand Prix of Long Beach went off without a hitch. At least all the crashes occurred in practice again.

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Photo from autoracing1.com

NBCSN’s crew was as in the dark as were the viewers – and teams – for much of the broadcast. A few things were clear, however. Continue reading

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Fictional IndyCar Sponsors We’d Like To See

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Image from Indy Race Reviewer

Fake products could fill the void of actual IndyCar sponsors.

As forbearing fans of open wheel racing know, empty side pods seldom look good. It occurred to us that something – anything – filling those blank canvasses doing 220 mph would surely beat nothing. Fastidious fans of fast also know that IndyCar has a dearth of sponsors, so we couldn’t resist offering a few fictional movie and television product suggestions. Why not? We’re feeling Leigh Diffey daffy.

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Image from Indy Race Reviewer

Lacking sponsors, the aim for back marker owners – which the series has plenty of – should be to give at least the appearance of success. What’s the harm if they provide a few laughs to the paying customers at the same time? No, we’re not going with the ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’ (or ‘Back to the Future’ Delorean or even the ‘Bladerunner’ car) reference vis-a-vis Mark Miles’ Flying Circus. Although considering Marco‘s gawd awful ‘Indiana Jones’ paint job several years back, we did think about it.

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Photo from Indy Race Reviewer

Now for the imaginary items for IndyCar. Morrie’s Wigs from the Scorsese mob standard “Goodfellas” makes a primo candidate for primary sponsorship. Morrie’s would rank right up there with “Northern Lights” and “Pep Boys,” both of which not only existed but also actually sponsored the series at one time. Continue reading

Our Ideal IndyCar Schedule

2016 Ideal Schedule

There’s still no IndyCar schedule for 2016, but when it is finally announced (assuming it is) rest assured we’ll have a rip-snortin’ reaction. A big league series should strive for consistency in scheduling with annual racing dates and locales – none of this fly by night, here one year and gone the next BS. The lineup should also contain twenty-plus races and obviously be announced before late October.

Barring that, IRR offers up our ideal slate of races with the added bonus of a brief description of each. Readers will notice a heavy dose of good ol’ fashioned oval tracks and a corresponding dearth of road courses, as it should be. Of course this would require some balls from IndyCar “leadership” and above all else the firing of series boss/mouthpiece Mark Miles. Ah, if only it were so.

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Fontana: The track offers breath-taking open wheel racing and is a must for the schedule. Why not open the season with a thrilling five hundred miler before it gets too hot for those trendy, fair weather fans in California? The Dude abides.

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Image from thefix.com

Long Beach: It’s a street circuit with some tradition, so unlike many others it survived the cut. The Beach is vastly superior to Sonoma, which doesn’t make our list. Sorry winos, but we prefer beer – and good racing.

Phoenix: Obviously PIR Continue reading