Indy 500 Predictions and Prognostications: Emotional Edition

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Finally, the 500’s fast approaching, folks! So in the spirit of the world’s most prestigious race, let’s speedily – though in a manner that’s thoroughly under control – get to our ever popular picks.

The special prediction for the race is how much fun it’ll be to watch this year. With so many enjoyable storylines, NBC’s telecast, slick, speedy cars, an actual oval race after an egregious nine month drought and – most wonderfully for IRR – watching the glorious 500 for the first time with our gorgeous, stunning and brilliant new wife. How awesome is that?! We at IRR only hope you’ll be having half the time we are.

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Photo from indycar.com

Projected as first out of the 500 – other than Alonso and McLaren of course, he he – will be Kyle Kaiser. The young American who dramatically bumped the F1 star from the field Continue reading

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IndyCar Grand Prix Predictions and Prognostications: Penske Primacy’s Paramount

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Since they insist upon continuing to place this clunker on the schedule, Billionaire Roger Penske should be sponsoring the IndyCar Grand Prix. Particularly since no one else will.

In the five year history of this “event,” Team Penske has won ’em all. Will Power’s won three – including the last two – and his teammate Simon Pagenaud won the other two, taking that fiasco that was the injurious inaugural and also topping the podium again three years ago. Due to such predictable Penske primacy, our special prediction for this rare Saturday race is that once it’s over, you’ll have wished you’d spent the day mowing your yard instead, or even going to a wedding.

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Photo from foxsports.com

Other than Sebastian Saavedra’s disastrous non-start from P1 in 2014, resulting in a horrifying crash that hairlipped the honorary starter, Indy’s Mayor, Team Penske has Continue reading

Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Race Review: Ridin’ Bitch Edition

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Photo from indycar.com

Alexander Rossi forced the rest of the field to ride bitch Sunday at Long Beach, winning his second consecutive grand prix by over ten seconds from pole. It was one of those sleep inducing street course races that we’re constantly railing against, one that would’ve been totally forgettable but for a bit of late race controversy over the low step on the podium between Scott “Forrest” Dixon and Ragin’ Graham Rahal. But in the end, even that was less than dramatic.

Rossi featured mightily on the pre-race show but hell, if you’d have read our predictions you could have saved yourself some time and already known all that. Sorry to Alex – and almost everyone else – but the GP is NOT a close second to the Indy 500. It’s only about a third as old, much less prestigious and it’s a frickin’ street course, to boot. A couple of positives from the pre-race pageantry were F-18s doing a flyover and the hottie Mickey Guyton singing the national anthem. Candidly, we were surprised the kooky Californios let her sing it at all. Additionally, there was a second consecutive audio connection with the two seater passenger – some gal from The Bachelor who, not surprisingly, could hardly contain her enthusiasm.

At Long Beach there are a whopping two passing zones, according to Townsend Bell and – whoopie! – it showed. The start saw Dixon immediately dart behind Rossi, with the only change being Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay) bumping and then getting around Frenchman Simon Pagenaud for fifth. Continue reading

Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Predictions and Prognostications: Acura-cy Edition

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In an era where veracity is increasingly viewed by many as valueless, we at IRR strenuously strive for it above all else. Problem is, predictions don’t always work out so perfectly.

It’s no secret that our previous prognostications for Barber weren’t exactly spot on. More correctly, they reeked. But when we make mistakes we admit them, acknowledge the error and move on. Wouldn’t it be a much better world if everyone – including race control – did the same? That leads us to our special prediction for the Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach, which entails often controversial caution flags.

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The recent history of the Grand Prix shows yellows playing a determining factor in both the racing and the outcome. Last year’s race was a prime example. When there are several cautions the racing’s superior. But when there aren’t any, the racing tends to suck. After that sleeping pill of a race at Barber, the series is due for both some concentrated canary flagging and an engaging contest, so expect some carnage and concomitant cautions come Sunday.

Pole prediction’s also a precisely crafted one. Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Preview: Conspiracy Theory Edition

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WARNING: Those voices in your head telling you not to read this because we’re part of a cabal that’s out to get you . . . happen to be right.

With never ending collusion delusion, conspiracy theories running amok and – even though Mikhail Aleshin‘s sadly no longer in the series – a Russian seemingly under every bed, IRR’s got a few new crackpot conspiracies for your consideration. Only this time, they’re of the IndyCar variety. It starts with those chemtrails IndyCars emit, which everyone else obliviously refers to as so-called “exhaust fumes.” But we’ll get back to Whinin’ Will Power in a moment.

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Photo from indycar.com

Roger Penske and Josef Newgarden may actually have some competition for a change this year at Barber Motorsports Park, although the grand Penske conspiracy’s a tough one to get folks to buy, unlike his billion dollar fleet of vehicles. Newkid’s won three of the last four down in Alabam’ – his French teammate won the other – and is obviously the odds on favorite to do so again this season. Coincidence? We think not. Hell, amongst IndyCar aficionadoes who are truly *in the know* Team Penske‘s the Bilderbergers, Trilateral Commission and Council on Foreign Relations all wrapped up into one. Don’t tell anyone, but RP’s a Freemason, too. Talk about a new IndyCar order!

Colton Herta, who strangely resembles Joaquin Phoenix in case you hadn’t noticed, is also white hot coming off his first win while setting the mark as youngest ever series victor at COTA. Continue reading

When Will Won’t Win, Will Whines, Or: Why We Root Against Will Power

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Photo from dailytelegraph.com.au

IndyCar’s least likable driver routinely disparages the series, the racing, the rules and the competition. In pissing all over his chosen profession and everyone associated with it, Whinin’ Will Power slaps those responsible for his seven figure salary – namely, paying race fans – squarely in the face. It’s high time somebody called him out for this childish complaining and held him to account. It’s past time people stopped tolerating his extremely rude, self-centered behavior – much less celebrating it.

Will “Wah-Wah” Power rarely fails to bite the hand that feeds him, repeatedly ripping IndyCar and his competitors in the most classless manner possible. Such outrageous outbursts go back years, as we’ve comprehensively chronicled since 2015 and more recently last season at Gateway. No doubt he’s earned our nickname, “Sour Grapes” Power, honestly and on more than a few occasions. Yet the big mouthed sore loser is never, ever responsible for his words. Instead, the overwhelming majority of those covering IndyCar continually give the creep a pass. Well not us.

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Photo from heraldsun.com.au

His most recent tantrum was broadcast live around the globe Sunday during the IndyCar Classic at Circuit of the Americas. Continue reading

Texas Predictions and Prognostications: Deep In The Heart

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Fans come from far and wide to see IndyCars, side by side, doing 220 mph under the lights at TMS. The term thrilling doesn’t begin to capture the feeling, particularly when you’re there in person. If you’re a true race fan, then deep in your heart you adore Texas Motor Speedway.

Our special prediction for the DXC Technology 600 is reams of real, riveting racing. It’s what IndyCar at Texas is known for – a refreshing change from the road course heavy early season schedule. What a difference a weekend makes! Speeds will be 50 mph greater than on Detroit’s Belle Isle and nearly constant, not merely a few seconds per lap. The edge of your seat action – with passes galore – will be in a class of its own. That’s the open wheel oval racing class, where TMS is highly regarded, and the one nearest to our hearts.

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Photo from autosport.com

Pole sitter’ll be Will “sour grapes” Power, unfortunately. He started P1 three consecutive times from 2013-15 and as you may have heard has been on a roll lately. But here’s the good news – Continue reading

Detroit Race Review No. 2: ‘Penske’s GM Amateur Hour’ Edition

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Photo from twitter.com

It is entirely appropriate that ABC’s last ever IndyCar broadcast involved a pace car crash during the parade laps that they missed while away at commercial, utterly destroying a brand new Corvette and delaying the start by thirty seven minutes. It was less so that Honda absolutely schooled Chevy in their hometown yet again, sweeping both races rather easily and awarding AA’s Ryan Hunter-Reay the trophy Sunday. Despite a positive public face and Power’s podium, the Cap’n could not have been happy.

RHR earned the victory, for much of the race looked like a Rossi runaway, the 500 winner starting from pole after emerging from a drenched morning qualifications. Overcoming adversity after a podium finish Saturday, the victor spun into the tire barrier during quals Sunday morning and received a penalty for his trouble, losing his fastest two laps of the session. As a result Hunter-Reay started back in tenth position. He wouldn’t be deterred.

Photo from indycar.com

The pre-race consisted of a replay of Hinch’s lap from yesterday and a very subdued command to start engines by Mark Reuss – a senior VP at GM – who then proceeded to crash the pace car on the parade lap, stopping the race before it’d even begun. IndyCar should demand that  Continue reading

Detroit Grand Prix Predictions and Prognostications: A Lot To Like

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At the conclusion of the annual pilgrimage to Motor City, ABC’s long and strained relationship with IndyCar comes to a merciful close, as does the weak early part of the series’ schedule. We’re fans of seeing both go and look forward to a brighter, more productive portion of the season ahead. Starting with, like, our ever popular predictions!

We’ve several prognostications for this weekend, full of open wheel racing as it is and coming off what was frankly a rough 500 in this department. But come on, who did have sour grapes Power winning it? Besides his few hard-cores, we mean?

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So without further adieu, we confidently predict a widespread outbreak of spontaneous celebrations marking the conclusion of ABC’s coverage of IndyCar, arriving after this weekend’s dual Disney displeasure. There’s nothing not to like about the new network partner NBC – at least for the foreseeable future, that is.

Not only does the slipshod coverage conclude after Sunday, but also – finally! – the schedule starts to pick up. Continue reading

Barber Preview: Broken Record Edition

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More records are likely to be broken as IndyCar screeches into Alabama this weekend, the series’ third consecutive race since inexplicably skipping an entire month after the St. Pete opener. Sorry to sound like a broken record, but Team Penske’s success at Barber is nearly as unblemished as a mint condition Beatles vinyl still in the original packaging.

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Josef “new American hero” Newgarden (according to Robin Miller) has swiped two of the last three at the deep south’s premier motorbike track, an undeniably impressive album of work. Continue reading