Toronto Race Review: Penske’s Pulled A Fast One

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Photo from twitter.com

The Penske’s pulled a fast one on the paying public Sunday.

With leader Frenchman Simon Pagenaud running low on fuel and fellow Penske pilot Josef Newgarden – the championship points leader – nursing home a damaged car in fourth after hitting the same stretch of wall for a second consecutive year, an uninteresting sleeping pill of a race looked like it might finally become eventful on the last lap. When suddenly third Penske teammate Will Power uncharacteristically – and all by himself – ran straight into a tire barrier, ending the race under caution and guaranteeing both a win for Pags and a continued grip on the points lead for Newkid. Coincidence? We think not. We believe the Penske’s pulled a fast one.

What sometimes saves the racing in Toronto – and in deed, its only redeeming quality – are multiple caution flags. Sunday’s affair had two and therefore technically qualified, but they were too few and far between to liven up the show. NBCSN’s pre-race coverage included the gobsmackingly dreadful condition of the supposed track in Toronto and, on a happier note, Robert Wickens’ return to IndyCar driving the specially configured pace car in his home country less than a year after his tragic accident at Pocono. During his pacing duties, which necessarily carried them close to the walls, his fiancee rode anxiously along screetching at one point, “Don’t be stupid!”

The green flag flew and fans were at least treated to a clean first turn as pole sitter Simon Pagenaud led Scott Dixon and Alexander Rossi. But problems quickly began with hometown boy James Hinchcliffe bumping into Marco and getting by him. Continue reading

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Toronto Preview: Canadian Goose Chase

Canadian Goose Chase IRR

It almost certainly won’t be a Canuck goosing the gas toward victory lane come Sunday, so who might it be? Let’s take a gander.

Of five street course races so far this year – as opposed to equally unwatchable, though slightly different natural terrain road courses – Josef Newgarden’s won two while Scott Dixon, Alexander Rossi and Simon Pagenaud have a win apiece. The cobbled together, part concrete, part asphalt and all bad track in Toronto most closely resembles dilapidated Detroit, which would seem to favor both Dixie and Newkid. Occasionally some exciting racing breaks out north of the border though, or what passes for it on a street course, which also sometimes happens in St. Pete where Josef won to kick off the fledgling season.

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Photo from toronotograndprixtourist.com

Like Belle Isle, the race track itself is too narrow, winding and rough for much side by side racing, let alone passing. We unaffectionately refer to it as the Canuck concrete car crusher. Continue reading

Road America Race Review: Caution Needed Edition

Photo from twitter.com

In the most lop-sided IndyCar contest in a decade, Alexander Rossi won going away for Andretti Autosport in a typical Road America laugher. In the annals of racing, perhaps never was a caution, a rain storm, or a Sato desperation banzai move more needed to liven up the show.

Sunday’s pre-race coverage was lengthy, featuring Rossi, Jean Girard lookalike Indy 500 winner Simon Pagenaud and the legendary Scott Dixon, whose dreadful luck of late was chronicled – and would continue. The start of the race saw polesitter Colton Herta lead Rossi toward turn 1, although it wouldn’t last. Rossi skillfully passed him on the outside of the corner for P1 and never looked back. Whinin’ Will Power immediately was all over the 19 year old rookie for second, a spot he’d eventually take. Herta would finish eighth.

Then Dixon spun ’round after going wide into a turn and being rudely hit from behind by Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay), dropping to last. In typical Gumpian fashion, he’d fight his way all the way back to fifth by the checkered flag. Continue reading

Road America Predictions and Prognostications: Let Down Edition

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If you like seeing wins from pole, precious little passing and lots and lots of fuel saving at interstate speeds, then you’ll love the Rev Group Grand Prix. Coming on the heels of Texas, for fans of fast it’ll be a total let down.

Our special prediction for Sunday’s really, really redundant road race is that riveting racing will be ridiculously rare. With a grand total of about one and a half passing zones – and that’s being charitable – Road America is one of the least entertaining tracks IndyCar visits, right down there at the bottom with Mid-Ohio. And concerning this sorry schedule of races, that’s saying something.

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Pole sitter is likely to be Alex Rossi for Andretti Autosport. It’s no secret the Andrettis know their way around RA, minus Marco of course. Continue reading

Detroit 2 Race Review: Rear Ended Edition

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If an IndyCar driver wasn’t involved in a rear end collision Sunday at Detroit, he probably won.

NBC’s rather amateurish broadcast was delayed this time by tennis from France, which after the Indy 500 was appropriate enough. While the weather proved much better than Saturday, the perfunctory Pagenaud platitudes didn’t. Qualifying was also missed due to a water delay – not from rain, but from a tire barrier – even though the recording was set for an extra half hour in case of such eventualities. Nevertheless we did get to hear “O’Canada” sung out loud as well as STP’s new front man do the US national anthem, which was superlative. Scott Dixon said he felt “very, very, very lucky” to be recognized by the Queen with an Order of Merit listing for his racing skills. Certainly no rear ending there.

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Josef Newgarden and Alex Rossi made up the first row, and Colton “Joaquin” Herta and Zach “Son of Dracula” Veach the second with Conor Daly driving . . . the two seater. Continue reading

Detroit 1 Race Review: Rain Delay Edition

Photo from twitter.com

Following a lengthy rain delay, Rossi’s typical smugness and a whole lotta Frenchman in the pre-race, festivities finally got underway over an hour and twenty minutes late. It’s what NBC’s Daffy Leigh Diffey called “a slight delay.” For sitting through the wait, fans were treated to a single file start and a timed race. Really?! Either the track’s good to go racing or it isn’t. We’ve long been on record arguing the latter.

Zach “son of Dracula” Veach spun during the parade laps, soon followed by Canuck James Hinchcliffe, both suffering no apparent damage and thankfully only added a lap’s delay. Now with merely seventy two minutes left, Santino Ferrucci narrowly avoided AJ Foyt’s Matt Leist who spun out on a wet patch of concrete. Then Whinin’ Will Power pinched one of the way too many blue cars as they went three wide through the turn. The yellow flag flew by lap 2, with Takuma Sato getting into Pato O’Ward on a track clearly too wet to start a race.

Photo from indycar.com

The caution dragged on and the track continued to dry when, with just over an hour of racing left, Power Continue reading

Indy 500 Race Review: The Pagenaud Show

Photo from indycar.com

Simon Pagenaud became the first Frenchman in ninety nine years to win the Indy 500 on Sunday, retaking the lead from Andretti Autosport’s former 500 winner Alex Rossi with two laps to go. In his 50 years at IMS, Roger Penske now owns eighteen 500 victories, winning 36% of all he’s entered.

Mike Tirico actually mentioned the word patriotism during the pre-race show, which was nice to hear on Memorial Day weekend, though frankly we could have done without Dale, Jr.’s dim-witted drawling. Same goes for Danica – and Lance Armstrong, for goodness’ sake. At times during the broadcast it seemed almost like the NASCAR Indy 500.

Photo from indycar.com

The crowd was decent making for fairly full stands, but with noticable tarpaulins and swaths of empty seats the 103rd running of the Indianapolis 500 was definitely not a sellout. Happily the weather held and the over two hundred thousand fans in attendance enjoyed an action packed race.

Rookie phenom and race winner Colton “Joaquin” Herta was first out of the contest, Continue reading

Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Race Review: Ridin’ Bitch Edition

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Photo from indycar.com

Alexander Rossi forced the rest of the field to ride bitch Sunday at Long Beach, winning his second consecutive grand prix by over ten seconds from pole. It was one of those sleep inducing street course races that we’re constantly railing against, one that would’ve been totally forgettable but for a bit of late race controversy over the low step on the podium between Scott “Forrest” Dixon and Ragin’ Graham Rahal. But in the end, even that was less than dramatic.

Rossi featured mightily on the pre-race show but hell, if you’d have read our predictions you could have saved yourself some time and already known all that. Sorry to Alex – and almost everyone else – but the GP is NOT a close second to the Indy 500. It’s only about a third as old, much less prestigious and it’s a frickin’ street course, to boot. A couple of positives from the pre-race pageantry were F-18s doing a flyover and the hottie Mickey Guyton singing the national anthem. Candidly, we were surprised the kooky Californios let her sing it at all. Additionally, there was a second consecutive audio connection with the two seater passenger – some gal from The Bachelor who, not surprisingly, could hardly contain her enthusiasm.

At Long Beach there are a whopping two passing zones, according to Townsend Bell and – whoopie! – it showed. The start saw Dixon immediately dart behind Rossi, with the only change being Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay) bumping and then getting around Frenchman Simon Pagenaud for fifth. Continue reading

St. Pete Race Review: New Season? Newgarden

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Photo from indycar.com

In a predictably prominent Penske affair, Josef Newgarden cruised to his eleventh career win at St. Pete over Scott Dixon. “It just worked out perfectly,” the positive pilot postulated post race.

During the pre race show, Paul Tracy exclaimed “there are Swedes everywhere!” Sounds like an ideal beach party to us. Also included was a nice update and interview with Robert Wickens, who vowed to come back from his devastating, paralizing injury last season at Pocono.

A controversial qualifying session, which saw Dixon initially miss the top twelve before not only making the fast six but starting fourth, had Will “Sour Grapes” Power on pole, again predictably. In fact, an all Penske front row rounded out by Newgarden was trailed by an all Ganassi second row – with the Swedish rookie Rosenqvist actually outpacing defending champ Dixie – and an all Andretti third row of 500 winners Ryan Hunter-Reay and Alexander Rossi. In other qualifying news, only Marco can manage to run out of fuel without turning a single lap.

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The start saw a slight delay thanks to the cumbersome two seater and – as usual – failed radio communication with same. Why they insist upon trying to talk to the backseat rider time after time in vain is simply beyond us. Continue reading

St. Pete Predictions and Prognostications: Live PD Edition

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A recent high profile IndyCar related arrest put IRR in an increasingly incarcerating mood for Sunday’s season opener. As Davey Hamilton, Jr. might say, “stop resisting!”

The Firestone Grand Prix takes place just south of Pasco County, Florida, equally famous for both its recurring spots on Live PD and its 3rd grade educated, meth addled criminal class. In honor of this and the adorable K-9 officer Shep – along with his equally adorable handler (at least according to this author’s girlfriend) – we’ll get to our picks quicker than Dan Abrams can come up with a poorly worded police related pun.

Our special prediction for 2019’s inaugural event is that it’ll be about as engaging as a Nye County welfare check thirty minutes out. Afterward you’ll wish the entire series hierarchy were thrown behind bars or, better yet, put under the jail for so persistently insisting upon such shoddy street circuits. Particularly when there’s a perfectly serviceable yet thoroughly unused oval track down in Homestead. Swedish imports NOT in a vodka bottle or bikini? Check. Starting the year off with yet another buzz killing street course?? Check. Allowing Marco, Max “Paris” Chilton and TK all to take the green??? Check. It’s profoundly criminal, and more than enough to make us wanna fire up Florida’s famed ol’ sparky.

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Prognostication for pole sitter invokes our personal favorite Live PD peace officer, Richland County’s Lieutenant “Downtown” Danny Brown. Why, you ask? Because in IndyCar nowadays, pole’s as easy to sniff out as a blazin’ blunt from the car full of extremely confident fellows directly upwind from you. Continue reading