IndyCar Grand Prix Race Review: Empty Seats Edition

Photo from twitter.com

Empty suited Frenchman Simon Pagenaud passed Scott Dixon with two laps to go to win the rain soaked IndyCar Grand Prix, coming from eighth starting position to take his third victory – and Team Penske’s sixth – out of six so-called races ’round the infield of IMS. It was a race held before a nearly empty – though admittedly cavernous – racetrack. Dixon’s discernible disappointment at finishing second after leading much of the race was plainly palpable.

The crowd of hangers-on flooding pit road during the pre-race was nearly as large as those poor, drenched paying customers in the sparsely populated stands. Chairman George gave the command to fire engines and the cars were quickly underway. The green flag gave way to the usual first lap problems with Alex Rossi getting rudely run into by Pato O’Ward, sending the 500 winner into the wall, his right rear suspension grievously wounded, ruining his day. The Coyne-ster was penalized for avoidable contact, though came back for a strong – if unjust – showing until the end. Rossi’s teammate Zach Veach got hit by Tony “time to call it quits” Kanaan, knocking the youthful, son of Dracula looking American out of the way and into the curb. The aged TK of course faced no such sanction.

Meanhile up front, Jack Harvey went to second around Dixon as rookie Felix Rosenqvist quickly lept out to a comfortable, albeit short-lived, lead. Continue reading

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Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Race Review: Ridin’ Bitch Edition

Alexander Rossi on track Long Beacj

Photo from indycar.com

Alexander Rossi forced the rest of the field to ride bitch Sunday at Long Beach, winning his second consecutive grand prix by over ten seconds from pole. It was one of those sleep inducing street course races that we’re constantly railing against, one that would’ve been totally forgettable but for a bit of late race controversy over the low step on the podium between Scott “Forrest” Dixon and Ragin’ Graham Rahal. But in the end, even that was less than dramatic.

Rossi featured mightily on the pre-race show but hell, if you’d have read our predictions you could have saved yourself some time and already known all that. Sorry to Alex – and almost everyone else – but the GP is NOT a close second to the Indy 500. It’s only about a third as old, much less prestigious and it’s a frickin’ street course, to boot. A couple of positives from the pre-race pageantry were F-18s doing a flyover and the hottie Mickey Guyton singing the national anthem. Candidly, we were surprised the kooky Californios let her sing it at all. Additionally, there was a second consecutive audio connection with the two seater passenger – some gal from The Bachelor who, not surprisingly, could hardly contain her enthusiasm.

At Long Beach there are a whopping two passing zones, according to Townsend Bell and – whoopie! – it showed. The start saw Dixon immediately dart behind Rossi, with the only change being Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay) bumping and then getting around Frenchman Simon Pagenaud for fifth. Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Race Review: Inverted Edition

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Pole sitter(!) Takuma Sato’s lead was seldom in doubt – except when he ran completely off course and nearly flipped in characteristic fashion with five to go – as the 500 winner cruised to only his fourth career IndyCar victory in a truly inverted race in Alabama. The previous run-on sentence is not a joke. He credited his Rahal Lanigan Letterman team for a “fantastic effort,” despite an incredibly slow first pit stop due to a lethargic left rear tire changer. Equally incredibly, Scott Dixon claimed his sixth 2nd place finish at Barber – out of ten races – as Honda swept its own podium with Frenchman Sebastien Bourdais coming home in third.

An inadvertently inverted starting grid with the Penskes oddly bringing up the rear led to a decidedly upside down result. One of the few highlights of the weekend occured when a street sweeper rolled over onto its side while at speed in between practices, nearly inverting itself. The accident was a good thing, as NBCSN’s abbreviated pre-race show had little to offer, although they did manage a real rarity in connecting on air with the two seater passenger. Oh, and Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Predictions and Prognostications: Locks Edition

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For IRR’s ever popular predictions regarding the annual trek to a track called Barber, locks seemed like a no-brainer theme.

Our special prediction for the weekend is that ‘Bama’s good ol’ boys will soon wish they’d have locked up their wives and daughters once IndyCar comes to town. Why? Because the racing’ll be surprisingly entertaining – way more so than NASCRAP – especially considering the fast cars are competing on a danged motorcycle track. It’s truly too bad the series is locked out of nearly every oval track in the country thanks to N@$CAR, else IndyCar’s preeminence in the racing world would be a sure thing – just like the good ol’ days.

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Photo from artnet.com

Pick for pole’s a slam dunk in that he’s paced the field in both races already this season and twice before at Barber, while his team’s won nearly every single pole in IndyCar’s history at the track. Who’s got it so locked down, you ask? Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Preview: Conspiracy Theory Edition

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WARNING: Those voices in your head telling you not to read this because we’re part of a cabal that’s out to get you . . . happen to be right.

With never ending collusion delusion, conspiracy theories running amok and – even though Mikhail Aleshin‘s sadly no longer in the series – a Russian seemingly under every bed, IRR’s got a few new crackpot conspiracies for your consideration. Only this time, they’re of the IndyCar variety. It starts with those chemtrails IndyCars emit, which everyone else obliviously refers to as so-called “exhaust fumes.” But we’ll get back to Whinin’ Will Power in a moment.

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Photo from indycar.com

Roger Penske and Josef Newgarden may actually have some competition for a change this year at Barber Motorsports Park, although the grand Penske conspiracy’s a tough one to get folks to buy, unlike his billion dollar fleet of vehicles. Newkid’s won three of the last four down in Alabam’ – his French teammate won the other – and is obviously the odds on favorite to do so again this season. Coincidence? We think not. Hell, amongst IndyCar aficionadoes who are truly *in the know* Team Penske‘s the Bilderbergers, Trilateral Commission and Council on Foreign Relations all wrapped up into one. Don’t tell anyone, but RP’s a Freemason, too. Talk about a new IndyCar order!

Colton Herta, who strangely resembles Joaquin Phoenix in case you hadn’t noticed, is also white hot coming off his first win while setting the mark as youngest ever series victor at COTA. Continue reading

IndyCar Classic Race Review: All Hail Emperor Herta!

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The record books were rewritten Sunday in Texas, as the youngest driver in IndyCar history – 18 year old American legacy pilot Colton “Joaquin” Herta – incredibly won only the third start of his career. It was a popular finish throughout the paddock, as Bryan Herta’s son and Brian Barnhart’s team, Harding Steinbrenner Racing (partnered with Andretti) took their first ever series victory.

Swedish love dished out during pre-race proved badly misplaced, as Felix Rosenqvist was crashed out by James Hinchcliffe in the only full course caution of the day – after earlier spinning on his own. Fellow Scandinavian Marcus Ericsson earned a late penalty in the pits for contacting another car, dropping him to the rear of the field and sealing a fifteenth place finish. The start was clean except for Zach “son of Dracula” Veach, who made contact with Graham Rahal and ran off course, falling to last place as he was forced through and around COTA’s gravel traps.

Scott Dixon made it three wide through turn one, which is allowed under the no limits policy, followed wide right by Rahal who was then contacted by Veach. Herta split Dixon and Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay) to move up a position to third for a taste of things to come. Meanwhile Ganassi’s Rosenqvist dropped back two positions to eighth. Alexander Rossi challenged Will Power for the lead briefly but remained in second with Herta, Hunter-Reay and Dixon making up the top five.

Single file racing rapidly set in, with Power comfortably out front. Continue reading

IndyCar Classic Predictions and Prognostications: On the Road Again

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Photo from cicuitoftheamericas.com

In its infinite wisdom, IndyCar visits yet another rampantly redundant road course this weekend – and it’s most definitely not music to our ears.

Turns out a wide array of musicians sing songs titled “On the Road Again,” including most famously Texas’ own Willie Nelson, Canned Heat, Barrabas and a group called Amphetamine Eaters to name but a few. And that’s not to mention derivative ditties like the Grateful Dead’s “Natural Born Easy (On the Road Again),” either. Our special prediction of the race deals specifically with the quick cars being on the road – again.

Image from countryfancast.com

Directly counter to the conventional view of every other single outlet and commentator in existence, Sunday’s show won’t be gripping viewing, but rather a rerun of the numerous other identical road races – like the very next one in Alabama. Lacking in excitement, speed and overtaking – also known as quality racing – COTA will amount to a high dollar, low interest parade around a three and a half mile f-ing F1 circuit. To us, such an ear splitting waste of horsepower strikes an extremely sour note.

Our pick for pole also may sound like a familiar tune, Continue reading

St. Pete Race Review: New Season? Newgarden

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Photo from indycar.com

In a predictably prominent Penske affair, Josef Newgarden cruised to his eleventh career win at St. Pete over Scott Dixon. “It just worked out perfectly,” the positive pilot postulated post race.

During the pre race show, Paul Tracy exclaimed “there are Swedes everywhere!” Sounds like an ideal beach party to us. Also included was a nice update and interview with Robert Wickens, who vowed to come back from his devastating, paralizing injury last season at Pocono.

A controversial qualifying session, which saw Dixon initially miss the top twelve before not only making the fast six but starting fourth, had Will “Sour Grapes” Power on pole, again predictably. In fact, an all Penske front row rounded out by Newgarden was trailed by an all Ganassi second row – with the Swedish rookie Rosenqvist actually outpacing defending champ Dixie – and an all Andretti third row of 500 winners Ryan Hunter-Reay and Alexander Rossi. In other qualifying news, only Marco can manage to run out of fuel without turning a single lap.

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The start saw a slight delay thanks to the cumbersome two seater and – as usual – failed radio communication with same. Why they insist upon trying to talk to the backseat rider time after time in vain is simply beyond us. Continue reading

Nineteen Predictions for the 2019 IndyCar Season

Swedish Bikini Team IRR

Anticipate another entertaining season opener on St. Pete’s street course oddly enough, even without flying aero kit pieces or Juan “street cleaner” Montoya in the field. Less surprisingly, thrilling contests again will ensue at Texas Motor Speedway and Gateway Motorsports Park, both oval races held under the lights. Now if only the egg heads at 16th & Georgetown would heed IRR’s advice and return Iowa’s race to a nocturnal knife fight and bring back excellent tracks like Kentucky, Chicagoland, Michigan and Fontana we’d have more awesome oval affairs to look forward to.

The series’ pair of new Swedish drivers – Schmidt’s Marcus Ericsson and Ganassi’s Felix Rosenqvist – will spend the 2019 campaign stuck in neutral. Suffice it to say their transition won’t be pretty.

A second season running the new cars will make the disparity between the series’ haves and have-nots even greater, unfortunately. Last year saw Penske win yet another 500 and Ganassi take the championship – again. An entire off season of the super teams fine tuning their machines won’t help matters. Continue reading

Sonoma Season Finale Race Review: S&M Edition

Photo from indycar.com

Racing at Sonoma through the years has often been painful to watch, and the season finale was no different. Admittedly, there were a few moments of pleasure along with hours of punishment.

Scott Dixon clinched his fifth championship Sunday in dominant fashion, totally overshadowing Ryan Hunter-Reay who abused the competition from pole in IndyCar’s final race at the dungeon like track. In a curious move by the series’ sole broadcast partner, NBCSN viewers missed an eventful start due to preemption by a NASCAR crash and delay at Vegas. Of course it proved to be one of few interesting segments of the day, and for fans it really hurt.

As Hunter-Reay led the field to the green his teammate Alexander Rossi suffered a brain fade typical of his youth and inexperience. Entering turn 1 the championship contender inexplicably ran into the back of teammate Marco Andretti, damaging his front wing and right front tire and all but eliminating his title hopes. Rossi would battle back and almost make it interesting by the end, but couldn’t surpass Dixon’s maturity and experience.

Cars quickly strung out single file as normalcy returned to Sonoma. Continue reading