Indy 500 Predictions and Prognostications: Emotional Edition

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Finally, the 500’s fast approaching, folks! So in the spirit of the world’s most prestigious race, let’s speedily – though in a manner that’s thoroughly under control – get to our ever popular picks.

The special prediction for the race is how much fun it’ll be to watch this year. With so many enjoyable storylines, NBC’s telecast, slick, speedy cars, an actual oval race after an egregious nine month drought and – most wonderfully for IRR – watching the glorious 500 for the first time with our gorgeous, stunning and brilliant new wife. How awesome is that?! We at IRR only hope you’ll be having half the time we are.

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Photo from indycar.com

Projected as first out of the 500 – other than Alonso and McLaren of course, he he – will be Kyle Kaiser. The young American who dramatically bumped the F1 star from the field Continue reading

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Indy 500 Preview: Hasta La Vista, Alonso!

Photo from twitter.com

A soggy, disjointed weekend of qualifying for the Greatest Spectacle in Racing sent one of F1’s biggest stars packing after he failed to produce the speed needed to make the show.

Fernando Alonso and his McLaren team suffered devastating disappointment, unable to qualify for the world’s greatest race after lots of hype and hoopla. This shocking development came despite his team receiving last minute help from both Andretti Autosport and Team Penske, heavyweights of the sport. To Alonso’s undying credit though he handled the blow well, even refusing an offer from McLaren to buy him a ride for the 500. Every crisis presents opportunities however, and young American drivers Kyle Kaiser and Sage Karam seized them in Sunday’s final session, setting the last row and sealing Alonso’s fickle fate.

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Simon Pagenaud put Penske’s Chevy powered day glow Menard’s car on pole by the slightest of margins, but he didn’t detract from Ed Carpenter Racing’s efforts in taking three of the top four starting positions for Sunday’s race. Continue reading

IndyCar Grand Prix Race Review: Empty Seats Edition

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Empty suited Frenchman Simon Pagenaud passed Scott Dixon with two laps to go to win the rain soaked IndyCar Grand Prix, coming from eighth starting position to take his third victory – and Team Penske’s sixth – out of six so-called races ’round the infield of IMS. It was a race held before a nearly empty – though admittedly cavernous – racetrack. Dixon’s discernible disappointment at finishing second after leading much of the race was plainly palpable.

The crowd of hangers-on flooding pit road during the pre-race was nearly as large as those poor, drenched paying customers in the sparsely populated stands. Chairman George gave the command to fire engines and the cars were quickly underway. The green flag gave way to the usual first lap problems with Alex Rossi getting rudely run into by Pato O’Ward, sending the 500 winner into the wall, his right rear suspension grievously wounded, ruining his day. The Coyne-ster was penalized for avoidable contact, though came back for a strong – if unjust – showing until the end. Rossi’s teammate Zach Veach got hit by Tony “time to call it quits” Kanaan, knocking the youthful, son of Dracula looking American out of the way and into the curb. The aged TK of course faced no such sanction.

Meanhile up front, Jack Harvey went to second around Dixon as rookie Felix Rosenqvist quickly lept out to a comfortable, albeit short-lived, lead. Continue reading

IndyCar Grand Prix Preview: What’s New Edition

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After an astonishingly absurd month long layoff – talk about a buzz kill – IndyCar finally stirs back to life at the world’s most awe inspiring racetrack. Too bad it’s not on the actual racing surface, or at least not much of it, but instead on the flat, pusillanimously pedestrian infield access roads. With each passing year, our contempt for this supposed “race” – exactly like our feelings for Mark Miles – continues to sink to new depths.

In the wake of such an interminable hiatus, it seems almost like a new season – and in some respects it is. For oval track racing enthusiasts such as ourselves – who’ve only waited nine months since the last oval race – the promise of a fresh oval season, however abbreviated, isn’t far off now with the glorious 500 up next. Still, when only a third of the series’ races – in a sport built on and by oval track racing, mind you – are on ovals, it’s cold comfort. This Tony George spawn of a slot filler typifies what an unprecedentedly lousy schedule the egg heads at 16th and Georgetown have been providing the last several years – and, in a relatively new twist, how they’re all about the money, not the racing.

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Image from indycar.com

The “advanced frontal protection” pieces debuting on the cars are also something new starting with the race ’round IMS’ infield. That’s a fancy, techo-babble term for Continue reading

Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Race Review: Ridin’ Bitch Edition

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Photo from indycar.com

Alexander Rossi forced the rest of the field to ride bitch Sunday at Long Beach, winning his second consecutive grand prix by over ten seconds from pole. It was one of those sleep inducing street course races that we’re constantly railing against, one that would’ve been totally forgettable but for a bit of late race controversy over the low step on the podium between Scott “Forrest” Dixon and Ragin’ Graham Rahal. But in the end, even that was less than dramatic.

Rossi featured mightily on the pre-race show but hell, if you’d have read our predictions you could have saved yourself some time and already known all that. Sorry to Alex – and almost everyone else – but the GP is NOT a close second to the Indy 500. It’s only about a third as old, much less prestigious and it’s a frickin’ street course, to boot. A couple of positives from the pre-race pageantry were F-18s doing a flyover and the hottie Mickey Guyton singing the national anthem. Candidly, we were surprised the kooky Californios let her sing it at all. Additionally, there was a second consecutive audio connection with the two seater passenger – some gal from The Bachelor who, not surprisingly, could hardly contain her enthusiasm.

At Long Beach there are a whopping two passing zones, according to Townsend Bell and – whoopie! – it showed. The start saw Dixon immediately dart behind Rossi, with the only change being Ryan Hunter-Reay (with the hyphen here to stay) bumping and then getting around Frenchman Simon Pagenaud for fifth. Continue reading

Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach Predictions and Prognostications: Acura-cy Edition

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In an era where veracity is increasingly viewed by many as valueless, we at IRR strenuously strive for it above all else. Problem is, predictions don’t always work out so perfectly.

It’s no secret that our previous prognostications for Barber weren’t exactly spot on. More correctly, they reeked. But when we make mistakes we admit them, acknowledge the error and move on. Wouldn’t it be a much better world if everyone – including race control – did the same? That leads us to our special prediction for the Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach, which entails often controversial caution flags.

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The recent history of the Grand Prix shows yellows playing a determining factor in both the racing and the outcome. Last year’s race was a prime example. When there are several cautions the racing’s superior. But when there aren’t any, the racing tends to suck. After that sleeping pill of a race at Barber, the series is due for both some concentrated canary flagging and an engaging contest, so expect some carnage and concomitant cautions come Sunday.

Pole prediction’s also a precisely crafted one. Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Race Review: Inverted Edition

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Pole sitter(!) Takuma Sato’s lead was seldom in doubt – except when he ran completely off course and nearly flipped in characteristic fashion with five to go – as the 500 winner cruised to only his fourth career IndyCar victory in a truly inverted race in Alabama. The previous run-on sentence is not a joke. He credited his Rahal Lanigan Letterman team for a “fantastic effort,” despite an incredibly slow first pit stop due to a lethargic left rear tire changer. Equally incredibly, Scott Dixon claimed his sixth 2nd place finish at Barber – out of ten races – as Honda swept its own podium with Frenchman Sebastien Bourdais coming home in third.

An inadvertently inverted starting grid with the Penskes oddly bringing up the rear led to a decidedly upside down result. One of the few highlights of the weekend occured when a street sweeper rolled over onto its side while at speed in between practices, nearly inverting itself. The accident was a good thing, as NBCSN’s abbreviated pre-race show had little to offer, although they did manage a real rarity in connecting on air with the two seater passenger. Oh, and Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Predictions and Prognostications: Locks Edition

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For IRR’s ever popular predictions regarding the annual trek to a track called Barber, locks seemed like a no-brainer theme.

Our special prediction for the weekend is that ‘Bama’s good ol’ boys will soon wish they’d have locked up their wives and daughters once IndyCar comes to town. Why? Because the racing’ll be surprisingly entertaining – way more so than NASCRAP – especially considering the fast cars are competing on a danged motorcycle track. It’s truly too bad the series is locked out of nearly every oval track in the country thanks to N@$CAR, else IndyCar’s preeminence in the racing world would be a sure thing – just like the good ol’ days.

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Photo from artnet.com

Pick for pole’s a slam dunk in that he’s paced the field in both races already this season and twice before at Barber, while his team’s won nearly every single pole in IndyCar’s history at the track. Who’s got it so locked down, you ask? Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Preview: Conspiracy Theory Edition

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WARNING: Those voices in your head telling you not to read this because we’re part of a cabal that’s out to get you . . . happen to be right.

With never ending collusion delusion, conspiracy theories running amok and – even though Mikhail Aleshin‘s sadly no longer in the series – a Russian seemingly under every bed, IRR’s got a few new crackpot conspiracies for your consideration. Only this time, they’re of the IndyCar variety. It starts with those chemtrails IndyCars emit, which everyone else obliviously refers to as so-called “exhaust fumes.” But we’ll get back to Whinin’ Will Power in a moment.

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Photo from indycar.com

Roger Penske and Josef Newgarden may actually have some competition for a change this year at Barber Motorsports Park, although the grand Penske conspiracy’s a tough one to get folks to buy, unlike his billion dollar fleet of vehicles. Newkid’s won three of the last four down in Alabam’ – his French teammate won the other – and is obviously the odds on favorite to do so again this season. Coincidence? We think not. Hell, amongst IndyCar aficionadoes who are truly *in the know* Team Penske‘s the Bilderbergers, Trilateral Commission and Council on Foreign Relations all wrapped up into one. Don’t tell anyone, but RP’s a Freemason, too. Talk about a new IndyCar order!

Colton Herta, who strangely resembles Joaquin Phoenix in case you hadn’t noticed, is also white hot coming off his first win while setting the mark as youngest ever series victor at COTA. Continue reading

Colton Herta: IndyCar’s Joaquin Phoenix

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IRR’s latest in a series on IndyCar drivers’ similarities to certain Hollywood heavyweights has Colton Herta joining the likes of Indy 500 winners Ryan Hunter-Reay and Scott Dixon. Heady company, indeed.

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Photo from wibc.com

It turns out the youngest winner in IndyCar history – all hail Emperor Herta! – has quite a bit in common with another child star with a famous surname. What Colton Herta and Joaquin Phoenix share is much more than mere looks, though – or even familial fame. Talent, success and a difficult to define something extra also characterize these two.

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Image from giphy.com

Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico in 1974, Phoenix currently resides in Hollywood Hills, CA. Herta was born twenty six years later in Valencia, California and still lives there – when not on the road racing. Continue reading