Texas Preview: Memory Lane

Texas

How-dy! We’re rip snortin’, bull stompin’ excited to get back to good ol’ fashioned oval track racing Saturday night in Texas. Texas Motor Speedway is undoubtedly one of the absolute best circuits the series visits and incredibly, it’ll host merely the second oval IndyCar race in the last ten months. That’s what we call a serious scheduling screw up.

Saturday night’s race will be IndyCar’s thirty first race held on the giant oval, scene of some of the more memorable races in recent history. Since it opened in 1996, TMS has seen some of the closest finishes, most action packed, side by side racing and entertaining events in all motorsports. We at IRR have been blessed to witness several of them in person. Ahhh, the memories. Ol’ AJ bitch slapping Arie Luyendyk in victory lane, Tomas Scheckter winning for Panther and the late Justin Wilson crossing the finish line first for Dale Coyne all leap to mind. Not to mention some horrifying crashes, such as Davey Hamilton’s and Kenny Brack’s (below), both of which unfortunately shortened their careers.

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Photo from motorsportretro.com

Colton “Joaquin” Herta Continue reading

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IndyCar Grand Prix Preview: What’s New Edition

MilesFyouDollarSignsIRR

After an astonishingly absurd month long layoff – talk about a buzz kill – IndyCar finally stirs back to life at the world’s most awe inspiring racetrack. Too bad it’s not on the actual racing surface, or at least not much of it, but instead on the flat, pusillanimously pedestrian infield access roads. With each passing year, our contempt for this supposed “race” – exactly like our feelings for Mark Miles – continues to sink to new depths.

In the wake of such an interminable hiatus, it seems almost like a new season – and in some respects it is. For oval track racing enthusiasts such as ourselves – who’ve only waited nine months since the last oval race – the promise of a fresh oval season, however abbreviated, isn’t far off now with the glorious 500 up next. Still, when only a third of the series’ races – in a sport built on and by oval track racing, mind you – are on ovals, it’s cold comfort. This Tony George spawn of a slot filler typifies what an unprecedentedly lousy schedule the egg heads at 16th and Georgetown have been providing the last several years – and, in a relatively new twist, how they’re all about the money, not the racing.

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Image from indycar.com

The “advanced frontal protection” pieces debuting on the cars are also something new starting with the race ’round IMS’ infield. That’s a fancy, techo-babble term for Continue reading

Barber Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama Preview: Conspiracy Theory Edition

Image from xahlee.org

WARNING: Those voices in your head telling you not to read this because we’re part of a cabal that’s out to get you . . . happen to be right.

With never ending collusion delusion, conspiracy theories running amok and – even though Mikhail Aleshin‘s sadly no longer in the series – a Russian seemingly under every bed, IRR’s got a few new crackpot conspiracies for your consideration. Only this time, they’re of the IndyCar variety. It starts with those chemtrails IndyCars emit, which everyone else obliviously refers to as so-called “exhaust fumes.” But we’ll get back to Whinin’ Will Power in a moment.

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Photo from indycar.com

Roger Penske and Josef Newgarden may actually have some competition for a change this year at Barber Motorsports Park, although the grand Penske conspiracy’s a tough one to get folks to buy, unlike his billion dollar fleet of vehicles. Newkid’s won three of the last four down in Alabam’ – his French teammate won the other – and is obviously the odds on favorite to do so again this season. Coincidence? We think not. Hell, amongst IndyCar aficionadoes who are truly *in the know* Team Penske‘s the Bilderbergers, Trilateral Commission and Council on Foreign Relations all wrapped up into one. Don’t tell anyone, but RP’s a Freemason, too. Talk about a new IndyCar order!

Colton Herta, who strangely resembles Joaquin Phoenix in case you hadn’t noticed, is also white hot coming off his first win while setting the mark as youngest ever series victor at COTA. Continue reading

When Will Won’t Win, Will Whines, Or: Why We Root Against Will Power

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Photo from dailytelegraph.com.au

IndyCar’s least likable driver routinely disparages the series, the racing, the rules and the competition. In pissing all over his chosen profession and everyone associated with it, Whinin’ Will Power slaps those responsible for his seven figure salary – namely, paying race fans – squarely in the face. It’s high time somebody called him out for this childish complaining and held him to account. It’s past time people stopped tolerating his extremely rude, self-centered behavior – much less celebrating it.

Will “Wah-Wah” Power rarely fails to bite the hand that feeds him, repeatedly ripping IndyCar and his competitors in the most classless manner possible. Such outrageous outbursts go back years, as we’ve comprehensively chronicled since 2015 and more recently last season at Gateway. No doubt he’s earned our nickname, “Sour Grapes” Power, honestly and on more than a few occasions. Yet the big mouthed sore loser is never, ever responsible for his words. Instead, the overwhelming majority of those covering IndyCar continually give the creep a pass. Well not us.

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Photo from heraldsun.com.au

His most recent tantrum was broadcast live around the globe Sunday during the IndyCar Classic at Circuit of the Americas. Continue reading

Colton Herta: IndyCar’s Joaquin Phoenix

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IRR’s latest in a series on IndyCar drivers’ similarities to certain Hollywood heavyweights has Colton Herta joining the likes of Indy 500 winners Ryan Hunter-Reay and Scott Dixon. Heady company, indeed.

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Photo from wibc.com

It turns out the youngest winner in IndyCar history – all hail Emperor Herta! – has quite a bit in common with another child star with a famous surname. What Colton Herta and Joaquin Phoenix share is much more than mere looks, though – or even familial fame. Talent, success and a difficult to define something extra also characterize these two.

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Image from giphy.com

Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico in 1974, Phoenix currently resides in Hollywood Hills, CA. Herta was born twenty six years later in Valencia, California and still lives there – when not on the road racing. Continue reading

Nineteen Predictions for the 2019 IndyCar Season

Swedish Bikini Team IRR

Anticipate another entertaining season opener on St. Pete’s street course oddly enough, even without flying aero kit pieces or Juan “street cleaner” Montoya in the field. Less surprisingly, thrilling contests again will ensue at Texas Motor Speedway and Gateway Motorsports Park, both oval races held under the lights. Now if only the egg heads at 16th & Georgetown would heed IRR’s advice and return Iowa’s race to a nocturnal knife fight and bring back excellent tracks like Kentucky, Chicagoland, Michigan and Fontana we’d have more awesome oval affairs to look forward to.

The series’ pair of new Swedish drivers – Schmidt’s Marcus Ericsson and Ganassi’s Felix Rosenqvist – will spend the 2019 campaign stuck in neutral. Suffice it to say their transition won’t be pretty.

A second season running the new cars will make the disparity between the series’ haves and have-nots even greater, unfortunately. Last year saw Penske win yet another 500 and Ganassi take the championship – again. An entire off season of the super teams fine tuning their machines won’t help matters. Continue reading

Season Finale Preview: Sayonara, Sonoma!

Sayonara Sonoma!

IRR’s preview of the 2018 finale illustrates how the sake’s about to hit the fan with a Japanese race winner, a Kiwi in the points lead and a long overdue kiss off for one particular track.

Following fourteen interminable years of visiting northern California – primarily because the Foyts and Andrettis own wineries there and most certainly not for the racing – the IndyCar party at Sonoma’s over at long last. Now the hellacious hangover begins, as the geniuses responsible for IndyCar’s schedule failed to replace it with a decent track, like the big, beautiful oval at Fontana, home of exquisite racing in years past.

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Photo from sfhracing.com

No, next season the series swaps one inferior road course finale at Sonoma for another one down the coast at Laguna Seca. The 2019 schedule Continue reading

A Note To Texas Detractors

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Photo from foxsports.com

The complaints began with Saturday’s rain out and grew more vociferous and objectionable from there. No one can control the rainy conditions and as Charles Dudley Warner said, “everybody talks about the weather but nobody seems to do anything about it.”

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Photo from twitter.com

Like much of the spring in Texas, it rained buckets all weekend. It even continued to rain after the series packed up and left. As anti-climactic as the postponement until the end of August was, it saved the few returning die-hard fans grief and made sense in light of another weeks’ long gap in this year’s screwy schedule.

Then – seemingly out of nowhere – calls began to dump Texas Motor Speedway altogether. All this because of some weepers?! Continue reading