St. Pete Preview: Russian Revolutions

aleshinbareback

Ominously, IndyCar kicks off the 2017 season Sunday in a city named for the cradle of the Russian Revolution. In light of all the fake news headlines involving Russia lately, is this mere coincidence? We think not. It gets even weirder still, as – get this – there’s even a Russian driver in the field. [Cue threatening music.] Recent rumors that Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill has never met with him are patently false.

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Photo from ap.prg

These facts raise some sobering (booo!) questions. Should IndyCar CEO Mark Miles – who scheduled the season opener in St. Pete – be forced to recuse himself for even talking to Muscovite Mikhail Aleshin? Or better yet, should Miles – who’s planning a race in communist China of all places – be impeached for the Russkie’s mere presence in the series? Finally, what exactly is Miles’ relationship with Premier Kissoff?

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The mystery surrounding these Russian connections only deepens. Is Aleshin actually a sinister Putin plant designed to damage IndyCar? What is Sam Schmidt’s real motivation for again hiring the Russkie to drive this year, particularly during such a virulently anti-Russian period in the US? What’s the extent of wiretapping of private communications in the series? And just what is Obama’s role in all of this?

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Photo from dailymail.co.uk

After all, Aleshin’s teammate Canadian James Hinchcliffe is a self proclaimed ambassador for the sport, raising further questions about yet another foreign driver’s actions. But the red scare doesn’t end there.

Photo from bostonherald.com

Not surprisingly, Frenchman and defending champion Simon Pagenaud wholeheartedly supports Aleshin’s involvement, calling it “better and way more fun” with the Russkie in the series. Recall France’s strongly socialistic bent and its dubious at best ally status vis a vis the U.S. through the decades. Red herring, indeed!

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Considering IndyCar’s strongly socialistic tendencies previously exposed by IRR, it’s obvious the Russians enjoy undue influence over the series at present. Investigations – lots and LOTS of investigations – must occur, and soon. And don’t tell us Mikhail is merely Russian for Michael, either.

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Clearly comrades, the answers to all these questions point to one undeniable reality about IndyCar and its 2017 debut. Namely, the Russians are coming!

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One thought on “St. Pete Preview: Russian Revolutions

  1. Pingback: St. Pete IndyCar Race Review: A Real Stinker | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness

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