Sonoma Finale Predictions and Prognostications: Rude As Hell Edition


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IndyCar’s season finale will take place Sunday at Sonoma Raceway in Northern California, rudely enough. In case you’ve been living in a frickin’ cave lately, NoCal’s the home of everyone’s favorite bench warming quarterback, the extremely rude and disrespectful Colin Kaepernick. He’s known primarily for his spectacular fall from grace, as well as his prima donna precociousness and pre-game protests of the national anthem. Now IndyCar with its ill-mannered front runners is crashing Kap’s bitch session.


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For our thorough thoughts on the championship battle, see “IndyCar Championship: Evil of Two Lessers.” In perfect keeping with our extremely rude theme, Frenchman Simon Pagenaud will prevail in the championship battle, beating out his ill-tempered team mate “Mad” Will Power. Pags winning the points sweepstakes is highly appropriate, for not only is Cali known for wine, but now thanks to Kap also for whining – as well as losing football teams, Hollywood hucksterism, in your face government, impolite levels of taxation and widespread flight from the state. How rude.


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Our special prediction for the finale is crude and utterly shameful behavior that NoCal’s now becoming infamous for, only this time it won’t be coming from a highly over-paid backup, but rather real life race car drivers. Of course Penske team mates have acted unmannerly before – even towards each other – and will do so again this weekend. Expect plenty of course actions to be on display on-course this weekend from the Cap’n’s tasteless twins.


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Speaking of uncivil acts, our prediction is for Pags to take his seventh pole of the season. Ridiculous, isn’t it? The frog’s swallowed a majority of them on the road courses this year, and in keeping with his discourteous nature he’ll greedily do so again.


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The biggest surprise of the finale will be the never rude, always affable Josef Newgarden‘s performance. He’s driving for a fat, juicy new contract next year and it’ll certainly show come Sunday. At this point Josef’s thinking, “anything to get me outta Ed Carpenter Racing.”


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First out of the race – if you call what happens at Sonoma racing – will be one of Foyt’s cars, take your pick. Reportedly one driver‘s already going to be shown the door next year, while the other should have been long ago. Both have struggled mightily the last couple seasons and octogenarian A.J.’s not exactly known for his patience or gracefulness when it comes to jockeys.


The Sonoma race winner will be Scott Dixon who’s not known for rudeness, although his wife is – at least on Twitter. And don’t get us started on his oafish owner.


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There may not be another IndyCar race for six months, but at least it won’t be Sour Grapes Power who’s reigning champ. If you want to see something really rude, see next year’s so-called schedule. And check back regularly for more regular, course and vulgar updates from IRR.



1 thought on “Sonoma Finale Predictions and Prognostications: Rude As Hell Edition

  1. Pingback: Sonoma Finale Race Review: Egregious Ending Edition | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness

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