Mid-Ohio Predictions and Prognostications: ‘In Dreams’ Edition


Photo from pinterest.com

Regrettably it’s not just a bad dream, as IndyCar is actually visiting Mid-Ohio again this weekend. This despite our admonishments and advice to the contrary.

If you read our preview, then you already know our take on the so-called racing at Mid-Ohio. If you didn’t, then think less than glowing. So less than glowing, in fact, it’s about as watchable as the Brickyard 400, or even this week’s convention. It’s just that sleep inducing. Feel free to stay up late Saturday night, ’cause Sunday afternoon will be a perfect opportunity for napping.

Dennis Hopper’s classic character Frank in “Blue Velvet” fairly summed up our thoughts on both the track and the key to salvaging your Sunday. “F@%* THAT S&!T! Pabst Blue Ribbon, man!”


Photo from foxnews.com

This week’s special prediction concerns everyone’s favorite Hoosier hot foot, Conor Daly. It’s his first time in the big car at Middling Ohio and Conor doesn’t deal well with new. His record on similar snaking road courses this season isn’t exactly the stuff dreams are made of, with finishes of twentieth at Barber and twenty first at Road America. Our prediction is another nightmarish result for Dale Coyne’s friendliest driver.


The biggest surprise of the race will be the dreamy Californian Charlie Kimball. He won his first race there three years ago and has been alarmingly aggressive all year. Just ask “what’s wrong with” Juan Montoya and he’ll tell youChip Ganassi Racing definitely has it figured out, as their record’s superlative on the somniferous circuit.


Photo from sports.usatoday.com

We’re predicting the pole winner to be the oft sedate Will Power. Don’t let his sluggish demeanor fool you, though. He started second last year and recently claimed pole at Road America. If Mid-Ohio qualifications are a repeat of that – as we expect it to be – then it’ll be a Penske fan’s wet dream, unfortunately.


Photo from foxsports.com.au

First out of the race figures to be the sleep walking Montoya, who’s failed to finish thrice in the last six races. He crashed out of the 500, Detroit’s second race, and flamed out at Iowa before losing a lap due to contact at the end of Toronto. It’s been like a bad dream for the slumbering stooge lately, and we expect that to continue at Mid-Ohio.


Frank again: “Let’s hit the f@#%in’ road!”

Fittingly, our pick for winner always seems to be in a trance like state when visiting the terrible track out in the toolies. Scott Dixon again will win the “race,” taking his sixth victory at the track that gives us night terrors. Wake us when it’s over.


Photo from sports.usatoday.com


2 thoughts on “Mid-Ohio Predictions and Prognostications: ‘In Dreams’ Edition

  1. Pingback: Toronto Race Review: ‘Get A Fu@&in’ Move On!’ Edition | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast and Funniness

  2. Pingback: Mid-Ohio Race Review: Precious Little Edition | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness

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