Road America Predictions and Prognostications: Tasteful Edition

RATKindycarcom

Photo from indycar.com

The home state of Miller beer hosts an IndyCar race this weekend and we’re predicting a tasteful, if less fulfilling, outcome for the series’ return to Road America.

It’s been nearly a decade since IndyCar raced in Wisconsin’s haunted woods and then it was only one of two warring camps during the open wheel civil war. Few current drivers have raced there, although those who have include road course aces mad Aussie Will Power and irascible Frenchman Sebastien Bourdais. Fortunately for fans experience isn’t always the key to winning and tasting the champagne in this series.

RAcampingracercom

Photo from racer.com

It’ll be a packed house in the campgrounds of RA Sunday, as a reported hundred thousand tickets have been sold. That’s all well and good, though we can’t help but wonder where these folks were when the historic Milwaukee Mile struggled to attract a fifth that number. The Methuselah Mile undoubtedly exhibited better racing than we’ll see at Elkhart Lake, yet it’s off this year’s schedule. There’s truly no accounting for taste.

milwaukeemmcom

Photo from mm.com

Our special prediction for Road America is an American winner. Miller’s a foreign owned company at this point, but a U.S. driver and team will taste success at RA. Fans may not enjoy the strung out racing and boring fuel saving strategy around the four mile spin through Wisconsin’s hills, but at least the winner won’t be a wanker, a frog or a Penske. That’d leave a terrible taste in the mouths of plenty.

WillPower

Photo from dailytelegraph.com.au

Pole sitter will be sour grapes Power however, who’ll edge his pole hoarding teammate Frenchman Simon Pagenaud and be slightly less cranky and crazy for once, at least for the television cameras. Coming off a win at Detroit’s second race, Power’s well, pole power will surprise the throngs of campers and fans – though not in a pleasant, tasteful way.

jackhawkindysportsusatodaycom

Photo from sports.usatoday.com

First out of the race will be the hapless Englishman Jack Hawksworth. His record with AJ Foyt Racing has been abysmal on both ovals and road courses, despite a whole new engineering crew and a teammate. That is, if you consider Takuma Sato a teammate. We don’t and urge AJ to ditch the sushi – and possibly the fish ‘n chips, as well.

ParisChiltonIRR

The biggest surprise of the race will be Ganassi’s rookie and f-ing F1 invader Max “Paris” Chilton. He tested there, says he feels comfortable on the Euro-style course and for once in his young IndyCar career will do fairly well. That’s fortunate for Max, as Chip’s tastes for young drivers can quickly sour, as we saw with Sage.

grcffoxsportscom

Photo from foxsports.com

So who will taste the champagne at Road America? The race winner in IndyCar’s tepid return to the woods will be Graham Rahal, breaking out for his first win of 2016. He’ll have to edge the hot footed Bourdais to do it, which will make Graham’s first win since Mid-Ohio last August taste that much sweeter. Then he and his delicious wife will be able to celebrate her birthday in a truly tasteless way.

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3 thoughts on “Road America Predictions and Prognostications: Tasteful Edition

  1. Pingback: Iowa Predictions And Prognostications: Predictable Edition | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness

  2. Pingback: Road America Race Review: Good Fun Edition | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness

  3. Pingback: Josef Newgarden Won’t Be Racing Anytime Soon | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness

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