If Don Rickles Did IndyCar

DonRicklescomedybeatcom

Photo from comedybeat.com

The insult impresario of comedy made many laugh, and a few others furious. We only wish the legendary Mr. Warmth had lived long enough to have a go at this IndyCar group. Wait, Rickles is still alive?! OK, then we only wish he still had the mental capacity to rip these guys some new ones. Had he, here’s what it might be like – and how delightfully mean.

popepenske1

Roger Penske? Greatest owner in the history of the sport, most Indy 500 wins, classy drivers from Emo to Helio. I never really liked the guy.

Don’t get me started on that Will Power fella. What a douche. The guy even manages to give Australians a bad name!

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Photo from usatoday.com

There’s a ton of talent in this league. It just so happens that Marco possesses none of it.

You know what the problem with today’s IndyCar drivers is? There’s nobody famous!

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Photo from theindychannel.com

If I hear Tony Kanaan rip the paying fans after one more race, I’m gonna punch the guy right square in the nose. I mean, how could I miss?

Michael Andretti‘s a fine human being. If for comparison’s sake he were dropped among ISIS, that is.

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Photo from indystar.com

So Jim Neighbors is eighty five now. He looks it.

That Mark Miles guy’s a real piece of work. He’s a bigger joke than my toupee, and I haven’t worn it in years.

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Photo from motorsport.com

Those new aero kits? Get outta here. The cars look like fu@%ing women’s shoes going around the track. Like huge ugly pumps on wheels!

Love that Takuma Sato kid. But really, he just needs to be himself behind the wheel. Just go right out after the green flag and make contact with someone. Anyone.

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Photo from Indy Race Reviewer

I love Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Just not two hundred million tax payer dollars worth!

IndyCar’s got some great accents. Simon Pagenaud‘s sounds like a French cartoon weasel.

Chipscooter

Photo from ap.org

Chip Ganassi. He’s one of a kind, that one. A one of a kind fella who needs fifty guys to be able to crowd surf.

Graham Rahal? Love the kid. Love his wife even more.

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Photo from pinterest.com

IndyCar racing? The only bigger waste of time is NASCAR. It’s fatter, too.

100th Indy 500? Oh, it’s a huge deal. Race of the century, right? Big time centennial coming up. When is it again?

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Photo from usatoday.com

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4 thoughts on “If Don Rickles Did IndyCar

  1. Some of your rants have some good points—this one sucked big time!!!!!!!!!! Just bullshit!!

    Harvey Pelovsky

    Owner/Administrator

    Rim Country Health & Apartments

    _____

    From: Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness [mailto:comment-reply@wordpress.com] Sent: Wednesday, March 02, 2016 7:03 AM To: hpelovsky@rimcountryhealth.com Subject: [New post] If Don Rickles Did IndyCar

    IndyRaceReviewer posted: ” Photo from comedybeat.com The insult impresario of comedy made many laugh, and a few others furious. We only wish the legendary Mr. Warmth had lived long enough to have a go at this IndyCar group. Wait, Rickles is still alive?! OK, then we only wish he s”

    Liked by 1 person

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