IndyCar News Week In Review: Carousel Edition

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Photo from indycar.com

As the season draws near, IndyCar’s merry go ’round of race stewards spins on amidst furious circular testing in the desert.

 

Ford Joins The Fast Cars: We wish, although former Ford racing honcho Dan Davis actually is joining Indy 500 winner and AJ assault victim Arie Luyendyk as well as self described “NASCAR driver” Max Papis in the new IndyCar steward triumvirate. These three could well make for yet another hilariously awful season of officiating. Shouldn’t be long before the steward wheel spins’round  again – hell, they could even bring Beekhuis back.

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Photo from twitter.com

PrixView Poop, Part 1: Papis was recently seen huddling with Team Penske at Phoenix, as it looks like the Cap’n‘s already getting the newly reconfigured race control firmly his corner. Reportedly, ex-Ford exec Mr. Davis (no relation to Tommy) is amazed at how reliably the Hondas and Chevys start. “As regular as a merry go ’round,” he was reported to utter in awed wonderment.

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Photo from indycar.com

PrixView Poop, Part Deux: The recent Phoenix test saw IndyCars lapping at nearly fifty miles per hour faster than the taxi cabs in the stupefyingly low nineteen seconds per lap range. That’s on a relatively flat 1.22 mile oval, folks. Penske’s tax dodging quatro-genarian Helio Casto-Neves led all participants with a speed in excess of 190 mph. That’s the good news. The less than good news is that the cars tested in their road course configurations at the desertified mile, which is telling as to the type of oval the series ditched Fontana for. We’ll take a “little too stupid” carousel over a coma inducing street course any day though, as in our view ovals should be the majority of the schedule.

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Pat’s Back!: Rideless Rookie of the Year Gabby Chaves filled in for suspicious Russian Mikhail Aleshin over at SPM, who had “visa issues” and didn’t make it to Arizona. He/she acquitted himself/herself well in the test, running in the top ten for much of it. Perhaps it’s Pat who deserves a full time ride instead of the f-ing F1 invaders. Speaking of which, newby Alexander Rossi watched his Andretti Autosport teammates from pit road, sitting out the Phoenix whirligig. It’s all just too “foreign” to him still, apparently.

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Photo from dailymail.co.uk

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Photo from racing.ap.org

Butterfingers Bourdais’ Return: In the worst kept secret in all silly season, KV Racing re-signed the froggy Frenchman to a flimsy one year deal. This, even though the Aussie and wine connoisseur-owned team‘s goal was for at least a two year deal, not to mention a two car team. Too bad. Bourdais is thirty seven. On the carousel of life for IndyCar pilots – particularly the seasoned ones – a year’s a frickin’ eternity.

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Photo from twitter.com

Fugly New Liveries: Most of the updated paint schemes – particularly the AA machines and Conor Daly’s Coyne car – look hideous. Many demolition derby spray paint jobs give them a run for their money. Have imagination and any aesthetic sense completely flown the coop in IndyCar?! Frankly, the primate section at any number of local zoos – not even the big city ones – could come up with better looks. Seen more compelling paint jobs at the local amusement park – on the carnies’ cars.

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Photo from motorsport.com

Andretti’s Phoenix Phobia: Michael Andretti says he’s genuinely “worried about the show” in the southwest in April, referring to a “passing problem” and urging more downforce be added. “We as a series just can’t afford to screw up this race.” Much as we hate to admit it, he’s probably got a point. He went on to divulge that “certain people . . . couldn’t give a damn about the show.” True, but if Michael’s really that concerned about putting on a great race, then why does he continue to insist upon employing Marco? We say let him join the carousel of unemployed, marginal drivers and see how he fares. Meanwhile, Sage Karam’s still without a full time ride.

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2 thoughts on “IndyCar News Week In Review: Carousel Edition

  1. Pingback: Rejigger Race Control, IndyCar | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness

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