Top Fifteen IndyCar Stories of 2015


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The Force Be With You – Rahal rebounded for an excellent season, winning twice and finishing fourth in points. He then proceeded to wed the gorgeous and talented Courtney Force, making major motoring and matrimonial momentum going into 2016. Penske/Ganassi Empire be warned.

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Loss of Williams – No, it’s not an F1 story. SPM cut Englishman James Jakes loose after a lackluster season, which means tragically that his stunningly beautiful girlfriend Megan Williams will no longer enhance the viewing experience with her Venus-like presence. The series needs more serious WAGS like Meg and to feature them prominently, as the NFL does with its cheerleaders.


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Karam Craps Out – Despite our best efforts, fearless young Pennsylvanian Sage Karam is out of the series having lost his ride with villainous Chip the Hutt. Sage had a decent year all things considered, and IndyCar is poorer, older and less American because of his leaving.


Schedule Shrinkage – The lineup’s a mess again next year, with too few races and too many dubious road courses for our ovular tastes. Fontana and Milwaukee are gone while Boston’s continuing bickering typifies the seriously flawed approach IndyCar takes to one of its two primary annual tasks. But Calgary will be YUUGE, we’re told.


Dixon Steals The Championship – After the Kiwi pulled it out over Montoya at Sonoma and yelled “Damn it, man!” on live television, Chip Ganassi crowd surfed in celebration. In doing so the Chipster gave an entirely new meaning to the phrase ‘butthole surfers.’


Aero Kits Get Fixed – The rules have been changed midstream allowing Honda to reconfigure their deeply flawed aero kits which incidentally injured a fan at St. Pete. In what’s been the year of aero fits, IndyCar continues to make up the rules as they go along. Chevy’s been a remarkably good sport about Honda’s “accommodation,” though with costs soaring and the centennial 500 over in May, their patience won’t last forever.


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IMS Makeover – While they’re finally sprucing up 16th and Georgetown in advance of the 100th running of the Indy 500 – with taxpayer money, mind you – they should clean house in the executive offices too, starting with Mark Miles. His “leadership skills” are shall we say highly lacking.


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Power Fade – The unlikable Aussie wanker made disparaging comments about the sport after the fantastic Fontana race and again following the season finale at Sonoma – neither of which did he win. Coming across as classless and whiny, Power’s repeated biting of the hand that feeds him all that Marmite was a nadir in the sport.


Brazil Non-Event – The season began after it didn’t in Brazil. Getting flat canceled at the last minute by a third world country was possibly a new low for the series, although it’s tough to tell with so many low points. Next up’s Mexico City. Hola!


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Hinch’s Exit (And Return) – A casualty of Indy testing, the gravely wounded Hinch’s eventual recovery and return to post season testing with SPM was encouraging to see. The series missed the comic Canuck’s personality last season as well as his driving chops.


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Flipping Indy – Air borne testing at Indy gave birth to “Mark Miles’ Flying Circus,” as Helio, Ed and Josef all encountered upside down aero related issues at the Brickyard. The amateurish looking series was forced to abruptly change the rules and mandate certain parts – or spec it up – at the last minute before the series’ grandest event. What are the odds for a repeat next year?


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Luke Frye Walker – Darth Derrick Walker was shown the door at race control after the three hours of pure joy at Fontana and ‘Ol’ Jay Frye’ took over the reins after the season concluded. Barring other firings, little change to the haphazard approach to penalties is expected in next year’s sequel.

Juan Pablo Montoya

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JPM Wins Again – Juan Montoya avoided the Foyt machines and managed his second Indianapolis 500 win in a race with an odd start but a compelling conclusion. The Colombian screamed into his radio “Yes! So bad! That’s how you do it!” as he crossed the finish line. Montoya’s win for Penske was disappointing to many, you know? At least it wasn’t Power.


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Newgarden Pops His Cherry – After getting his first at Barber, the CFH ace from Tennessee followed it up with another win in Toronto, salvaging his team’s otherwise woeful season. IndyCar benefitted briefly from the birth of a badly needed new star and would be wise not to screw it up again.


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Justin Wilson’s Passing – The veteran English driver and family man was pursuing his passion when he lost his life in a tragic racing accident at Pocono. Struck in the head by a piece of another car (see above), the new tethers for 2016 are a direct result of Wilson’s deadly misfortune. He will be missed.

Horrible Mentions


AA Needs A Meeting – Andretti’s fading team has dubious talent apart from Ryan Hunter Reay, shrunk to three cars for most of the season and fell badly off the pace. Legacy Marco is a liability to Michael’s declining team while Carlos “OK” Munoz is incredibly their second best jockey.


New Logo Sucks – Our most worthy hashtag since #RideForSage is #DitchTheNewLogo, as it’s simply awful.

6 thoughts on “Top Fifteen IndyCar Stories of 2015

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