Editor’s note: In the interest of showing our readers alternative viewpoints as well as what we’re up against as far as the supposed “competition,” IRR thought we’d turn things over to longtime IndyCar blogger George Flathead who writes some obscure racing blog having to do with fossil fuel and its compression. Anybody named after a screwdriver has to know a little something about racing, right? We used to think so, too.
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Mr. Flathead recently screwed our attention his way with the highest form of flattery, imitating – or rather, attempting to imitate – an article of ours which appeared last year entitled “Scott Dixon: IndyCar’s Tom Hanks.” Needless to say, George’s effort fell flat. Here’s George’s opposing viewpoint in the original and thought provokingly titled piece, “Random Thoughts on IndyCar.”
“I think everything IndyCar does is great. Its leadership is great and everything’s going really well. Everything Team Penske does is great. Roger Penske’s my idol and has been since I was a kid back in the 1950s. Every IndyCar driver is great. Not only that, but everything I write is great. My writing isn’t just great, but superior in every way. I take smugness to a whole new level in my writing. It’s true, there’s absolutely no sense of humor on my blog – just my opinions, which aren’t supposed to be funny at all. So don’t laugh.”
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“Bloggers aren’t talented, intelligent journalists. I’m living proof of that. My posts aren’t journalistic articles, they’re blog posts. I’m a blogger, through and through. Principally, that means my posts don’t even have to be interesting, which certainly takes the pressure off. I can write whatever I want and since there’s an increasing lack of IndyCar blogs, people read it. My readers love me because I’m so lovable.”
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“Plus, my has-been buddies with many, many more Twitter followers than me retweet me regularly and obligingly, drawing in even more unsuspecting readers. Fortunately, my fans seem not to mind the total lack of thought that I put into my posts. I guess that says a lot about my readers, doesn’t it?”
“But more importantly, back to me and what I do for a second. I hail from Nashville, Tennessee, the country music capital . . . ”
Flathead goes on and on about himself this way for another five hundred words, though mercifully we’ll spare you that mundanity. You get the gist. Terrific stuff, isn’t it? Amazingly some people lap this crap up like water, clamoring for the high honor of being the first to comment on this nonsense. “Oh, boy! I can read my name on some silly, vapid blog!” As the old adage goes, there’s no accounting for taste.
As one paid IndyCar writer said of George, “He’s an IndyCar cheerleader who spits out bad press releases. He sucks.” That anonymous professional scribe isn’t alone in his views, as we tend to strongly agree adding only that he’s also a mighty big cheerleader for himself. Frankly, IRR thinks there’s a screw loose somewhere behind those beady little eyes of Mr. Flathead’s. Better check that oil, George – self delusion’s a powerful problem to overcome. If he’s truly representative of speed being life, then we’ll opt for fast and funniness every time.