IndyCar 2015 Season Grades: Bryan Herta Autosport

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The odd little one car team piloted by Gabby “Pat” Chavez had an indeterminate year considering the many challenges they face, including a dearth of funding, resources and experience – but boy, have they got spunk! The unisex twenty two year old Colombian earned Rookie of the Year awards for both the Indy 500 and season, a feat not accomplished since 2006 when Marco accomplished it. With a less than famous name, we certainly hope Pat’s career results are better than Marco’s after a decade in the sport.

Wins: 0

Podiums: 0

Poles: 0

In some ways Herta’s Honda regressed slightly this year compared to last, when rookie Englishman Jack Hawksworth at least scored a podium finish at the forgettable Houston “track,” coming in third behind  Pags and Aleshin in the totally unnecessary second race. While other sports joke about playing in a parking lot, IndyCar disgustingly does it – sometimes twice in the same weekend. [Audible groan.]

Gabbyindycarcom

Photo from indycar.com

But back to the guy er, um driver in question, Gabby. In addition to other accolades, we’re pleased to announce Chavez is the winner of our 2015 Bruce Jenner/Caitlyn Jenner Gender Bender Award, or the BJCJGBA. Past winners of the BJCJGBA include Kenny Brack, Lyn St. James and the pineapply Emerson Fittipaldi, pictured below beside his long lost fraternal twin sister. Congratulations to Pat on this highly dubious honor.

emmoalexis

Aided by the British audio company Bowers and Wilkins with sponsorship since 2012, owner Bryan Herta is a former driver who’s perhaps most famous from his driving days for helping Marco Andretti get his first win at Sonoma. Herta – Marco’s teammate and Michael’s employee at the time – mysteriously spun out completely on his own on the slumber inducing road course, bringing out a yellow and greatly aiding in Marcos’s first big league win during his rookie season. Where’s Herta now when Marco desperately needs him? Owning Pat.

bhmotorauthoritycom

Photo from motorauthority.com

After accepting his ROY award, Gabby appropriately called 2015 “a fantastic year,” his flamboyance bubbling over the brim. In fairness, the amorphous South American was running at the finish in fifteen out of sixteen races and impressively came in second in total laps completed. Candidly, there wasn’t much competition for ROY considering Stefano “more hapless than Andretti” Coletti and Sage Karam – who shined on like a crazy diamond at times though ran only a partial schedule – were the competition.

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Photo from usatoday.com

The androgynous one managed only a fifteenth place finish in the championship though, with two top ten finishes including ninth in Detroit‘s superciliously superfluous second race. This comes after a stupefyingly solid 2014 in Indy Lights, when he/she won both the Freedom 100 at the hallowed Indianapolis Motor Speedway and the championship – in style. Exactly what sort of style we’ll leave to others to judge.

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Photo from dailymail.co.uk

When it comes to Gabby “Pat” Chavez and BHA, it’s “better Cait than straight!”

2015 Grade: C

2015 Midseason Grade: C-

2014 Grade: D

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One thought on “IndyCar 2015 Season Grades: Bryan Herta Autosport

  1. Pingback: 100th Indy 500 Preparations: 1st Practice Blues | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast And Funniness

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