IndyCar NOLA Predictions and Prognostications: All Wet Edition


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How’d our crack crystal ball division do predicting last race, you ask? Fairly well. We accurately predicted the pole winner as well as the winning team, if not the winning driver. Also that there’d be a surprise winner, which JPM sort of was. Stefano “faster than Andretti” Coletti was a bit of a disappointment, but after all it was only his first IndyCar race.


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Obviously New Orleans is likely to be wet, as the race is being held in a swamp in April. If you’ve ever visited Louisiana, then you know that the entire southern half of the state’s one giant mass of menacing, brackish swamp water so some amount of discomfort will come as no surprise. Plus there’s rain in the forecast. This week’s out of the ordinary prediction is that a local gator makes a surprise appearance at the track, so be sure to mind those hands and feet! Also, lots of those hilarious, James Carville-awful Cajun accents will be on display so it won’t be an entirely joyless race.


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The couple hundred thousand viewers who bother to tune in to the race will notice the difference in coverage from ABC, assuming they have the “No Body Can See Network.” Canuck Scott Goodyear’s coma-inducing commentary certainly won’t be missed this weekend, nor will ABC’s consistently slipshod coverage. We’ll be looking forward to parsing Professor Beekhuis’s reportage at NOLA after his unsavory recent comments on this site. Our prediction is NBCSN won’t start its coverage late or cut away from interviews prematurely like ABC did in Florida. Come on Disney, where’s the commitment?


Image from Indy Race Reviewer

As for the race, we previously predicted in our NOLA Preview that many fans would wonder why anyone ever built a track so near America’s drain. Expect Team Penske to dominate the field yet again this weekend in a result we’ve all seen many times before. With a Chevrolet engine and aero kit advantage plus Penske perfection, it won’t be much of a contest except between the four horsemen of the Penske-lypse team.


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That is, unless those unapproved valve spring recalls Chevy implemented and received penalties for after St. Pete fail. Then it’ll be more of an AJ Foyt Racing kind of weekend, or possibly Andretti Autosport in the form of Ryan Hunter-Reay. Hondas could enjoy an advantage, but only if the unexpected happens.


Image from Indy Race Reviewer

Our prediction for first out of the race is a Draconian one with Coyne’s rookie suffering early problems this time around. On the upside, at least his front wing pieces will be available for other teams to rent. Struggling as much as ever, Marco will also have another rough race and extend his already lengthy winless streak. Our biggest surprise of the weekend will be Takuma Sato, who’s exceptional while driving on a wet surface like NOLA’s could be. A strong showing would mean a lot to Foyt’s newly expanded team after young Hawksworth showed some impressive fight at St Pete. It’s an established fact however that the British aren’t very fond of gators, so Taku’s our man to watch in the NOLA swamp.


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“Mad” Will Power is our predicted winner in a sweep of both pole and race in a snoozer in southern Louisiana. Sadly, the gator’s on track shenanigans will be the most exciting part of the race if there aren’t Chevys going off like blow torches and diving into the swamp for extinguishing. At least there are beignets and plenty of taverns on Bourbon Street in which fans can drown their sorrows. Just mind the pickpockets and murderers. Oh, and the gators.


2 thoughts on “IndyCar NOLA Predictions and Prognostications: All Wet Edition

  1. Pingback: Long Beach IndyCar Preview: Glitz, Glam and Godly Acts | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast & Funniness

  2. Pingback: NOLA’s Non-Qualifications: Instant Reaction | Indy Race Reviewer: Fast & Funniness

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