N@$C@R Predictions: Feisty Fontana

IRR’s crystal ball crew has been busy celebrating our stupendous success in last week’s prognostications, nailing the race winner and several other lesser predictions. So if our offerings are a bit meandering you’ll understand why. This week the series goes to Southern California, a place the Stranger in “The Big Lebowski” described as “high in the running as one of the laziest places on earth.”

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Image from movieactors.com

SoCal’s vibe doesn’t really mesh that easily with NASCAR. It’s tantamount to the Dude attending a cock fight, or even a goat swap. As a consequence, lots of empty aluminum will be on display today in the spring California sun.

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If you’re a regular reader then you know we’re not picking Kurt Busch to win. Starting from the pole, we predict he’ll slam the wall as hard as he did his ex’s head in his RV, thereby saving his series from the embarrassment of a n’er do well winning.

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Smoke starts in 20th and remains just as lost as ever. We hopefully predict he won’t make any more pro-ISIS remarks this weekend, though we’re not confident in Stewart in any shape, manner or form at the moment.

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Image from Indy Race Reviewer

Danica starts 22nd back with what she used to derisively call “back-markers” and stands no chance to win. One of her stated reasons for deserting IndyCar for NASCAR years ago was her preference of oval tracks. Problem is, she can’t win a NASCAR race on an oval track to save her life. She’s only won one race in two hundred and fourteen major league starts – in 2007 in an IndyCar. Bill France was asked recently if she could win a race and his endorsement was less than ringing. “I think so,” he said. “Sure she can.”

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Photo from si.com

Jeff Gordon’s farewell tour grinds on and on – how long is NASCAR’s season again? He’ll suffer another disappointing day – we think the safer barriers are sufficient at Fontana – and perhaps begin focusing on his driving rather than his long goodbye.

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Image from Indy Race Reviewer

Seeing the NASCAR behemoths on the gorgeous 2 mile oval will make you long for IndyCar racing side by side there at 230 – 45 miles per hour quicker than the hulking safety cages with billboards whose pole speed this weekend is a mere 185.

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Penske’s Joey Logano driving the SoCal AAA car will surprise some folks at Fontana, taking another win on a large oval this season and coming from 13th starting position to do it. Logano’s win will also take away some of Harvick’s incredible momentum. His streak of seven straight top two finishes comes to an end at Fontana, like all good things do – even our latest predictions.

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