For the debut of this visionary new column – one we foresee making sporadic appearances on this site with varying degrees of accuracy when it comes to the predictions ventured – IRR’s special soothsaying division offers some shocking statements about the future of racing.
Why wait for IndyCar news when our crack staff can divine it ahead of time? So without further adieu, here are our presumptuous prognostications for IndyCar in January.
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His birthday over, AJ lays off the sake and English brown ales – unlike his drivers – for at least a few more weeks.
Dale Coyne Racing will be making no announcements, media appearances or any other racing related moves whatsoever.
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Brazil’s track in Brasilia remains under construction, and will until the green flag flies in March.
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Distracted, Michael Andretti will double down on his ill-conceived show of support for another series’ low-life Indy 500 interloper.
The next IndyCar blog closes up shop (PLEASE be the right one) leaving still more readers to the clutches of IRR.
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Sarah Fisher goes back into retirement, expresses regret over her “mid-life crisis moment” in Tulsa and makes Josef Newgarden work out wearing skimpy attire in front of her all week.
Photo from theindychannel.com
Tony Kanaan ‘s new baby boy begins to display early signs of being a real life Pinocchio.
Having come back to their senses, neither Brian Carroccio nor anyone else from Auto Racing 1 will be coming anywhere near IRR any time soon.
photo from motorauthority.com
A befuddled Brian Herta winds up in court again in a sponsorship dispute with yet another energy drink company.
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In the faux pas of the year, Team Penske accidentally announces publicly that they’ve signed away all the best driving, engineering and mechanical talent from other teams and therefore they’ll have little competition in repeating as champions.