Overlooked IndyCar Rule Changes – The “Blue” Rules

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Here are some new rule changes for 2015 you won’t read about anywhere else except IRR:

1. Mandatory three drink minimum for all fans 21 and over at all races. Five drink minimum at Indy and other 500 milers.

beer

Photo from IndyRaceReviewer – in Spain

2. Half lap head starts for all teams other than Team Penske, Target Chip Ganassi and Andretti Autosport at all races.

3. Weekly raffles for “IMS CEO for a day.” Winners couldn’t do worse than the current leadership.

winefollycom

Photo from winefolly.com

4. Jimmy Vasser shall not be permitted to consume more than nineteen bottles of wine during any race weekend, defined as Thursday through Sunday.

5. Jay Penske is prohibited from consuming any alcoholic beverages whatsoever, in perpetuity, within fifty miles of an IndyCar event. Furthermore, he shall remain within sight of a porta-potty at all times when at an event.

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Photos from examiner.com and si.com

6. Courtney Force is henceforth allowed to walk around the infield of any race track (also known as snakepits) in any state of undress she so desires. She joins Danica Patrick, Erin Andrews, Beccy Gordon, and many other women on the planet on this list.

7.  Takuma Sato since he remains in the series is henceforth required to have at least three beautiful Japanese women, preferably from the island of Honshu, accompanying him at all times and most especially when on camera.

Ganassi

Photo from chipganassiracing.com (!)

8.  Chip Ganassi is forthwith prohibited from entering the catering areas and other designated “Chip free food zones” at all events. There are no exceptions.

indysportscrewcom

Photo from indysportscrew.com

9.  Will Power is ordered to stick to his medication regimen religiously. This will be enforced using radar. And Charles.

10. Ed Carpenter will stop calling Josef Newgarden “Newkid” at all official functions and events and furthermore stop ordering him to get coffee.

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