Glossary of IndyCar Racing Terms

The modern world’s confusing and chaotic enough without new, additional jargon bombarding us and complicating our daily lives. We at IRR realized that complex terminology affects all of us in IndyCar association of states and decided to break it down, as the kids used to say. It’s yet another free service we provide for our fellow fans of fast.

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Relief of Napoleon the wise from his tomb in Paris

Our goal is to make the series we love more understandable to the average ignorant American and therefore more appealing to the entire Idiocracy-trending nation. Obviously IRR aims to please. So here’s our Glossary of IndyCar Racing Terms, with additions surely to come.

 

Aero kits – what used to be called the chassis, or body shape of the car and now are becoming changeable and disposable like an expensive pair of dress socks

BC bud – particularly potent strain of weed, or “chume” as the President calls it from the western Canadian province of British Columbia and one of the few redeeming products out of Canada

Canuck – member of the Canadian race; a derogatory slur – see Paul Tracy as a former example

Chip the Hutt – IRR’s Star Wars bar scene-inspired nickname for Chip Ganassi, head of TCGR

Claire McCaskill – anti-racing U.S. Senator “Buzzkill” and embarrassment from MO

Glossary – a list, usually alphabetized, with additional information and definitions

Helio-ism – an utterance of Helio Castro-Neves, usually grammatically incorrect and always said with a smile

IndyCar association of states – IndyCar’s sleeker, more selective alternative to the overly accepting behemoth NASCAR nation

Kent – the garden spot of England, southeast of London & home of Indy jockey Mike Conway

Kentish – describing a person from Kent, a Kentish jockey for example

Methuselah Mile – IRR’s affectionate Biblical term for Milwaukee, meaning it’s old

Mid-Ohio – predictably poor racing, adequate camping facilities

National Guard – former coveted racing sponsor/militia that spent many millions of taxpayer dollars over several years  for zero ICS wins

Newkid – IRR’s affectionate nickname for Tennessee’s own Josef Newgarden

Off-weeks – breaks in the IndyCar schedule leading to periods of intense boredom, usually due to some event at IMS such as a bike or other series race, that bring about inane posts like this

Parity – close entertaining racing resulting from the use of standardized, spec equipment (see aero kits)

Racing eggs – portable delicious deviled snacks that are a traditional compliment to racing chicken and racing beer, although the resulting flatulence they induce often act as a repellant to racing chicks

Sonoma Testing  – widespread snoring, napping

Sonoma Race – slightly less snoring, napping

Streets of Toronto – concrete car crusher that hosts IndyCar races under “crack smoking” Mayor Rob Ford’s watchful, bloodshot eyes

Tag Heuer – Hour or time of Day (in English)

Twitter – insidious form of social media that cruelly limits the number of characters one can use when trying to solicit complete strangers to read your racing blog

Will Power – certifiable, completely and madly insane Team Penske driver (who’s not surprisingly quite successful)

Zzzzzzzz – the sound emanating from race fans at tracks like Barber, Mid-Ohio & Sonoma

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