10 Race Day Headlines We’ll Never Read

As lifelong fans of the IndyCar Series, we at IRR experience that exhilarating buzz of excited Race Day anticipation like all fans do. Every Race Day is a holiday ’round here – a real celebration  – with feasting, libations and merriment (unfortunately though not for some of us on staff who have to work covering the race).

Those of us not working feel like expectant children on Christmas Eve, even when the series stops at a sub-par track like Mid-Ohio (the feeling today is of poorer kids but still pretty good). So in honor of Race Day Holiday, here are some ICS news headlines we’ll likely never read.

1. Roger Penske Goes Broke as  Americans Quit Cars

2. Sebastian Saavedra Wins Race – Entire Rest of Field Suffers Mechanicals

3. Sato Accident-Free for Third Straight Race, AJ Credits New Found Love of Sushi

4. Paul Tracy Fits into a Driving Suit; Hell Turns Frosty

5. Frenchman is Undisputed Darling of IndyCar Fans

6. Ganassi Voted Sexiest Owner, Fan Favorite

7. Arie, AJ Kiss & Make Up, Vacation Together in Amsterdam

8. Dixon Excited & Giddy after Ohio “Race,” Castro-Neves Calm & Subdued

9. Coyne Wins 3rd Straight Title, Promises his Dozens of Fans Free BBQ for Life

10. Andrettis Happy with Everything, Upbeat & even Chatty with Press

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