IndyCar PrixView Test at Phoenix: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

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An unmistakable aroma of change could be detected in the methanol perfumed desert air.

2018’s first full field open test of the new cars on the famed Phoenix oval concluded on an unexpectedly expensive note for a few teams, while RLL Racing’s Takuma Sato emerged as the quickest car of the weekend.

Nearly seven thousand laps were turned in the PrixView Open Test in total. Chip “Gangsta” Ganassi‘s veteran Scott Dixon became the second man ever to seriously test the new cars’ safety features – after Hinchcliffe broke the cherry in a previous test – as his car got loose and the rear end hit the wall in turn two. Dixie was fine afterwards, citing traffic – specifically “Andretti cars” – as a factor.

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Photo from twitter.com

Dixon wasn’t alone though, as a number of cars grew familiar with the SAFER barrier during the final session Saturday night. Continue reading

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More Oval Tracks, Please!

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IRR renews its call for more rich, riveting oval track sweetness, as road races truly are the skim milk of IndyCar.

Why must the home of the world’s most famous sip of milk be in a distinct minority of race tracks? Considering two thirds of IndyCar’s races now take place on road courses – several of which are utterly unwatchable, like Mid-Ohio – the old Ovaltine ads suddenly leapt to mind, inspiring our call for ‘More oval tracks, please!’

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Longtime readers are no doubt accustomed to our overt oval track preferences. It’s significant to note however that recent seasons more than bear this out. Take last year, for example. Indy, Pocono, Texas and even East St. Louis (of all places) were easily the most entertaining races of the season.

By contrast, St. PeteToronto and Watkins Glen were terrible. Happily the latter’s no longer with us – one down, two to go. It’s really no surprise as high speed, circuitous venues routinely outshine their plodding, winding yet more numerous counterparts. That is unless your idea of compelling competition is Sonoma last September – talk about sour!

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Image of A Christmas Story from the web

As poltroonish politicians are always saying, ‘Think of the children!’ An entire generation of young race fans now exists to whom exquisite oval races are all but alien. Two hundred mile per hour plus thrills have become waaaay too few and far between, even if you get NBC Sports. Continue reading

IndyCar Predictions for 2018: Shiny New Edition

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Photo from indycar.com

The eagerly anticipated follow up to our hugely successful 2017 predictions.

IndyCar’s extremely iffy schedule will seem like a strange, Groundhog Day like replay of last year’s, with merely the single alteration of swapping Watkins Glen for Portland. It’s a bit like exchanging that ugly Christmas sweater for a slightly less ugly – though smellier – hemp sweater. Frankly, we wouldn’t be caught dead in either.

Unfortunately, the static schedule means that once again only a third of the races will be held on oval tracks. Ovals being the fastest, most exhilaratingly entertaining form of motor racing on the planet, that’s just plain wrong. As long time readers know, our laments on this topic are nothing new.

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Photo from indycar.com

The new cars, which ironically and happily look an awful lot like the old cars, will impress – aesthetically, at least. Three cheers for the end of the awful aero kit era. Don’t expect speed records to fall at Indy or the other ovals any time soon, though – or a smooth, seamless transition. It’s still IndyCar, after all. The lower downforce levels of the new cars will add some excitement to the racing, as well as to the repair bills for many teams.

Get ready to hear and read lots about brakes and braking as a result of the introduction of new bodies. Translation: massive amounts of front and rear end damage due to near constant contact in the corners on street courses. Also expect electrical gremlins to make aggravating appearances, especially early on in the season.

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Of the new teams, Continue reading

IndyCar Garage Banners We’d Like To See

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Some lighthearted signage suggestions for teams to consider while undertaking their off season preparations.

First, we welcome the brand new teams (if not drivers) joining the IndyCar paddock.

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Next we turned our attention to some of the more successful, established teams.

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Continue reading

Why Foyt Should Fold

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Photo from toledoblade.com

The legendary IndyCar gambler’s game has gone, his eponymous team no longer worthy of the name. As longtime fans of the ornery octogenarian, it pains us to point out his team’s precipitous decline.

A recent conversation with an A.J. fan who’s followed him since the 1960s got us to thinking. While there’s no questioning Foyt’s former skills behind the wheel, his decisions on the stand are downright dumbfounding. It dawned on us that the last twelve years he’s been in the sport, Marco Andretti has more wins than all of A.J. Foyt Racing – twice as many wins, in fact. That’s not only extremely sad, but also tremendously telling.

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Photo from ajfoytracing.com

For the sake of A.J.’s legacy and his place at the center of IndyCar history, it’s time for his team to toss in their cards. Larry Foyt’s been running things the last decade, and rather poorly at that. Continue reading

Silly Season ’17: A Succinct Synopsis

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Penske pared back, Ganassi got leaner, Rahal redoubled and Foyt became even less relevant. Perhaps the greatest concern – apart from the second rate schedule – is the car count for 2018.

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After yet another IndyCar title thanks to Josef Newgarden’s pivotal piloting, Penske’s crew will consist of only three cars for the first time since 2014. At 42 the ever popular Helio Castro-Neves finally has been put out to pasture, where presumably he can climb all the fences he wishes. The formidable trio of Pags, Power and Newkid will carry the Cap’n’s colors in the upcoming campaign, easily remaining the odds on favorites nearly every weekend.

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Not one to be outdone when it comes to downsizing, the Chipster Continue reading

‘Newgarden In Love, Or: Mad Will Hunting’ – An IRR/Harvey Weinstein Production

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When worlds – and hands and genitals – collide, things get messy.

Following a disastrous string of IndyCar themed movies – unless you consider ‘Turbo’ at all watchable – our ill-advised new venture with a disastrously pervish producer can’t possibly be worse than what Hollywood currently puts out, can it?

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Image from kindafunnyforums.com

Without further adieu, here’s the world premier of a scene from the behind the scenes making of ‘Newgarden In Love,’ featuring everyone’s favorite former movie producer. It begins with us opportunistically approaching Mr. Weinstein about another possible IndyCar – Hollywood collaboration. For some strange reason, none of our female staff members were eager to participate.

EXT. ARIZONA SEX ADDICTION REHAB CENTER – NIGHT.

In the shadows Pervy Harvey nervously tugs on his shorty robe, only half-heartedly trying to avoid the paparazzi camped out nearby. We gain easy access to the posh center, knowing the staff (and many of the clientele) all too well. [Now THAT’s IRR Unchained!] We also made sure Harvey’d already showered and were careful not to meet him anywhere near his room. Fortunately never having dealt with him before, we walk up haltingly – as if encountering some great wounded beast.

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Photo from eonline.com

Pervy Harvey

What da fu*% do I know about IndyCar? Tits and ass? You betcha. Terrible movie remakes? Yes. But racing? Nah, never happen, kid. By the way, is this place ever great for gettin’ some action! And their plant pots are HUGE.

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You’d be surprised at all the T n’ A drivers get – even awful ones, like Marco. I’m sure you remember Mrs. Franchitti, don’t you? She’s been mentioned in the press lately. Besides, just leave the racing aspects to us. We’ve got you uh, covered, Harvey. Speaking of which, please pull your robe back down now.
Continue reading

The Why Of IRR, Or: The Answer To A Rather Impertinent Question

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For the first time a fervent though flawed follower inspires IRR to provide even more real world racing answers.

IndyCar’s snoozer of a season finale at Sonoma had just concluded and our work – reviewing the regrettable race – had just begun. Having formulated a concept, we dutifully sent out the usual “coming soon” Tweet announcing our forthcoming Race Review, titled “Ho-hum Edition.” That’s when the impertinent reply from – let’s just call him “Deplorable Paganator” – arrived through the vagaries of cyberspace with a distinct thud. “Do you actually like IndyCar or not?”

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In spite of the innate insolence, it is an interesting question. The answer’s a complicated one, but Continue reading

2017 IndyCar Season Review

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The series’ recently concluded campaign proved predictable – at least to us – and lacked both a sense of rhythm and any real rivalries. While having its moments, overall 2017 missed out on the excitement and drama of previous years.

This season’s highlights included breathtaking oval racing at Pocono and – to a lesser extent, thank you Tony Kanaan – Texas. Even the racing at Gateway was much improved over the last time they visited a decade ago and an additional oval on the schedule – no matter how inadequate its layout – is welcome change.

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Photo from twitter.com

Lowlights involved beyond tedious racing at the usual suspects like Mid-Ohio, Watkins Glen and the season finale at Sonoma. Even St. Pete was a stinker this year and as usual the Indy Grand Prix was nearly unwatchable. Iowa‘s daytime race – as opposed to the superior night races of years past – earned the biggest flop award, with Phoenix a close second in the balloting. Iowa Speedway already announced a Sunday date in early July, meaning it’ll be another day race next year.

Easily the most absurd moment of the year was f-ing F1 invader Fernando Alonso being gifted the Indy 500 Rookie of the Year award over Ed Jones, or “The Great Hardware Robbery,” as we termed it. This was closely followed by Alo’s team owner Michael Andretti’s brief flirtation with Chevy after winning the last two 500s with Honda and Sam Schmidt beginning to mimic Andretti’s dumb Indy 500 decisions.

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Photo from indycar.com

The most shocking moment by far Continue reading

IndyCar Sonoma Season Finale Race Review: Ho-hum Edition

 

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Photo from indycar.com

Frenchman Simon Pagenaud won the GoPro Grand Prix again on Sunday, while his teammate Josef Newgarden secured his first championship by finishing second in the hum sponsored car. Starting from pole and leading in points, it was Newgarden’s title and race to lose. Unsurprisingly, the first American champion in half a decade brought it home safely for an all Penske podium in a rather ho-hum contest.

The season’s ultimate race proved a mundane affair and went off largely as we’d predicted with no cautions, little passing or on track action and only three leaders – and that’s counting Conor Daly’s three laps led. SPM’s James Hinchcliffe provided some comic relief right from the start, getting hit by Spencer Pigot and spinning off course. He restarted the 5 machine but eventually became the first to retire with an electrical issue. Hinch’s early exit was indicative of his year and provided a prime example of poetic justice for the controversial team.

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Photo from indycar.com

Not to be outdone, Indy 500 winner Takuma Sato drove off the dusty track and dropped back on the first lap too, ruining a fifth place start. Tony Kanaan was forced to pit after another collision caused a flat tire that also sent him off track. He’d go on to finish sixteenth in his last race for Chip Ganassi. As Townsend Bell pointed out, it was TK’s third race in a row with a first lap issue going back to Gateway. It’s becoming painfully obvious that it’s time to call it quits, Tony.

The only other remarkable moment of the finale came during the final pit stop cycle. Continue reading